always & forever

38 | i am the problem?

i think i've been in this room for half an hour and heard nothing from pedri . i didn't even hear yelling or something like this .

after it was dark outside and i hadn't got any signs of pedri , i decided to walk downstairs , just to check up on him .

„pedro?"

i called for his name multiple time because i found nobody .

„he stormed off"

gavi . from the corner of the living room he sat there , with his head on his kness which are pulled to his chest . he looked so vulnerable . so genuinely hurt that it pained me to see him like this .

„did you know what pedri did?"

i sighed .

„yes , he just told me and i gave him the advice to tell you because you deserve to know"

no reaction .

„i'm sorry for the situation with your girlfriend , you deserve better"

„why exactly are you talking to me?"

i was taken back by that .

„excuse me?"

„you know that your presence hurts me! i've been trying to forget about you , and i did until you showed up again! i was happier without you than i was with you! everything was literally perfect in my life and i was happy to be free from you and now? you came back and ruined everything . don't you realize? you are the problem!"

i am the problem?

„will you stop please"

i said , not being able to hold back my tears and my shaky voice .

„no! i'm sorry but who believes your story with your parents? secretly they abandoned you as they should! and i am sure you cheated on me either with joão or jude during our relationship atleast twice! i hate you"

„gavi stop , please"

„and your scars?"

he asked me walking up and i saw his angry but tear stained face .

„go away"

i hushed back , but he grabbed my arm very very hard that it hurt .

he pushed my sleeves up and revealed my scars . angrily he looked at them and i couldn't understand why . it hurt so much that my srm went purple now .

„gavi let go please"

silent tears ran down his face and now i genuinely don't understand anything .

„pablo please"

something inside of him seemed to snap because he now let go off of me and nearly stumbled back .

with no words left for him i ran out of the door , not knowing where i was going . while i was running , crying and escaping from my ex , i still thought about his words which hit me right where it hurts .

„secretly the abandoned you as they should!"

„i am sure you cheated on me"

„i was happier without you"

„you are the problem"

i didn't know where to go . with shaking hands i dialed pedris phone number hoping he was somewhere near me .

„mejor amiga! i'm so sorry for not coming up to you , but gavi leashed out and i don't know what has been on my mind . i'm at your house right now , where are you?"

„is xavi home?"

„no ... i'm afraid he left about 3 minutes ago , he left you a message . looks like he is leaving for a longer time"

„i'm on my way"

i hung up and walked straight to my house even tho it was a 15 minutes walk . my crying stopped , but i was shaken up , confused and most of all , hurt .

„amy! there are you! where have you- woah! are you alright? did something happen"

„my ex happened"

i told him exactly what gavi had accused me of before and i can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't want to believe it .

„oh my gosh"

the rest of the evening was nearly quiet , pedri slept on the couch while i went up into my room and slept there . before going to sleep , i checked xavis text and it almost made me cry again .

in his message stood that he will be gone for 1 and a half week so he won't be here for my birthday . my 18th birthday and he isn't there! i was hoping to spend my birthday with him , pedri , sira and some others from the barcelona team and their girls , but now that xavi isn't there i feel ... not so excited for my birthday? after all , birthdays were a family thing for me .

and they always will be .

GAVIS POV

what the hell was i thinking? i was so overwhelmed with anya and then suddenly amara spoke to me again and i've ruined it . i don't know what snapped in my mind , but i regret it more than anything else . i was mad at pedri , mad at anya and thought i had no one , but she was there . and i pushed her away . maybe she's gone forever now . is it for the best?

„yo gavi wassup"

ansus words snapped me out of my daydreams and i just shrugged my shoulders , knowing damn well nothing but shit is going on .

„ohh come onnnn what's the daily tea? how is your girlfriend? what was her name? anna? amelie? amara?"

he spat the word girlfriend out , like he's despising it .

„her name was anya , we broke up"

„that easy?"

„that easy."

„well then , why did you come with lewandowski today? what about pedro?"

„we aren't on good terms thanks to my ex girlfriend"

„which one? you have two who i know are still around . amara and anya! you have a thing for girls with a"

i only have a thing for amara .

stop .

„anya of course"

„i didn't expect another name , hey are you coming to amys birthday party in 5 days? she's celebrating her birthday"

„i am not invited ansu"

„everyone can bring someone and i want to bring you! pleaseee"

„as a date?"

i side eyed him and fake gasped even if i wasn't in the mood for dumb jokes .

„mr gavira! of course a date! i want to take you on a date at your ex girlfriend's 18th birthday party , how thoughtful of me"

„like always"

i earned a slap on my neck , but i deserved more than only that .

walking onto the grass , i saw our co trainer and not xavi because he told us he'll leave for a while . normally amara would be here , but i haven't seen her .

i hope she's okay .

end of chapter 38 🫶🏼

a/n: i'll happily remind everyone that gavi is still a teenager and not all so grown up yet , so he still does teenager things you know? i sm not excusing for his actions , but you need to understand that young people often leash out and it is „natural" if you know .

(still not forgiving🤞🏼🤞🏼)

i love you all<3

aleyna