always & forever

61 | „i lost our baby"

( still gavis pov )

i am so dumb .

i don't know what did , but something inside of me clicked . why haven't i heard her out?

„pedri?"

he only nodded , lost in his thoughts .

„do you think she wants to see me right now?"

„it's half past 3 in the night pablo , i have a feeling that she's sleeping"

fuck it , i'll drive there anyway .

AMARAS POV

i couldn't sleep .

no matter how and in which direction i tossed around , i couldn't fucking sleep . like , why?

and then someone knocked at my door . what the hell .

„come in"

„i didn't think you'd still be awake"

what the hell .

„can't sleep"

he only nodded and sat down on the chair next to me .

„what are you thinking you're doing?"

„i-"

„get out"

„what?"

„you heard me , i don't want to see you , not right now"

„can i apologize?"

„i don't think you need a permission to that"

„so , i really am sorry , pedri told me what happened and-"

„what did he tell you?"

i asked , afraid that he told him about my pregnancy .

„uhm , about ferran"

i nodded , waiting for him to continue .

„so as i said , i am very sorry and i don't even know how to make it up to you , i just blacked everything out these past days because it looked so real! and you didn't pull away ... now i know that he grabbed you hard , but from my spot i couldn't see it , so i did the wrong thing and assumed something else ... i'm very sorry hermosa , how can i make it up to you? i'll do anything"

the nickname now was only a sharp pain in my heart . i didn't realize that i started crying . something inside of me just can't forgive him that easily , it seems wrong .

„he'll do it one time , but what's telling you he won't do it again if you just take him back?"

those were judes words from earlier .

„pablo i can't just ... forget about it and move on ... jude told me some wise words and even if i don't want to believe it , i do because it only makes sense and ... i- we- sorry"

i stopped and took my face in my hands , trying to stop my cries .

we could've been parents .

i could've had a son or a daughter and i could see pablo interacting with kids everyday , i could go to his games and it all would've been so perfect .

„what did jude tell you?"

„he'll do it one time , but what's telling you he won't do it again if you just take him back?"

i repeated judes words .

„he's right and we both know it"

i added .