always & forever

26 | „linda?"

GAVIS POV

i am sitting on the plane , next to pedri . these last days have been hard ; the breakup and then the end of the world cup journey for me and spain . my airpods are in my ears while i listened to some random music , making sure to skip love or sad songs that will just make me cry .

infront of us were balde and olmo and balde turned around , asking us something ;

„ayo , where is our amy?"

my amy .

but when he mentioned her , i just realized i haven't seen her on the plane . i looked around and scanned every seat , but she was nowhere to be found .

„she ... she didn't fly with us , she stayed"

oh . i wanted to ask why , but it isn't any of my business anymore . she and i are done .

„whyyyyy?"

alejandro asked , clearly upset .

„she stayed to support her other friends like jude"

„oh okay . she'll come back tho , right?"

„probably"

probably wasn't enough for me . i know that we aren't together anymore , that she needs time and that we both need to go our separate ways , but i need her presence around me , just to make sure she is okay . i cannot do that when she is half across the world . my mood went from bad to even more bad and i think if someone tried to talk to me , i'd punch them . luckily ( for them ) , no one did for the next hours .

AMARAS POV

„i miss jamal"

that was jude , we were hanging out with mason , declan and lauren , declans girlfriend . now that sira and sophia are both gone , i'm happy to have a female presence around me and lauren told me she is too .

i sighed .

„i miss him too , jude"

we sat next to each other on the couch , while mason and declan were playing fifa and lauren went to her room to get her things for our planned sleepover . after the round of 16 , we had 4 days until something is starting for england again and us 5 have been spending most of our time together . being away from gavi makes me think less about him . i still haven't fully recovered and i don't think i ever will , but i am starting to deal with it . my friends make it a lot more easier because i can just laugh and think about the positive things . that's also why i don't want england to lose the upcoming games , i don't want to leave . i love spain , i love xavi and pedri and gav- my other friends there , but i don't want these evenings to stop . they will . after the worldcup , jude will go to dortmund again , i'll go back to barcelona and mason , declan and lauren will go back to london . without us .

lauren came back and me and jude sat up our „bed" on the couch . declan gets to sleep on the bed with his girlfriend , while me , mason and jude are stuck on the floor or the couch . even though it's judes room .

„uh-uh i'll sleep on the couch today"

mason protested because he saw me and jude setting our things up .

„no"

i smiled at him and lay down .

„oh yes"

he came closer and smirked , picking me up from my comfortable position and putting me on the ground . i sat there , flabbergasted while jude held up his phone , filming the scene .

„that's where you'll sleep ams , deal with it . judes mine"

„i had him first!"

mason is somehow claiming jude to be „his" , but as i said , i had him first .

„doesn't count"

„guys , i am really flattered that you are fighting over me , but i belong to myself . thank you"

that caused all of us to laugh .

the evening went normal , i adjusted myself on the floor , while jude and mason where sleeping on the two couches , still talking tho , while lauren and declan where already asleep , cuddling . it pains me to watch them because it is exactly what i had and could still have with pablo , but i ruined it . i do not regret it , but of course i miss him .

the voices from jude and mason stopped , so i was the only one awake . i now understood why mase was tired of the floor , it's very uncomfortable and cold aswell .

it was in the middle of the night when i woke up after my nightmare , breathing heavily and trying to comprehend where i am and that it was only a dream .

i dreamed of him again . and that gavi blamed it on me after that . i know he would have never done it , but dreams still feel very realistic to me .

i try to cry less and more quiet and i think it worked , but then i heard a voice .

„amy?"

mason .

i stayed quiet , not wanting to disturb him in his sleep .

„i know you're awake"

fuck .

i slowly looked up to the couch not too far away from me and saw a dark shadow sitting up . it was dark and i could only see a little bit .

i now realized that he is heading to me and i wanted to stop him and tell him that i am okay , but i just can't .

„what happened?"

he asked and sat down , while i sat up too .

„i had a bad dream"

i stuttered , my voice unsteady and about to break .

„about what?"

mason asked softly .

should i tell him? i'll end up crying more .

„about my ex boyfriend"

that was not a complete lie .

„has he ever hurt you?"

never .

„no , i just dreamt of him blaming me for something i cannot ... control"

that was kinda true .

„do you want to talk about it , love?"

love?

„one day mason . one day i'll tell you . but not today , i'll end up crying even more"

i saw him nodding and he hugged me one last time , before we said goodnight to each other and he went back to bed .

i couldn't sleep anymore , so i decided to go to my „spot" again . it was 1 in the morning . what a lovely time .

i sat on one of the couches , my arms hugging my knees and silently thinking about life .

„linda?"

end of chapter 26 🫶🏼

a/n : sorry for not updating , but you cannot blame me for re-reading the shatter me series guys . they are the best books to ever exist . thank you .

thoughts?

final question ; joão or mason? i'll write both their names in the comments and you can just like the comment of the person you'd prefer!!

i love you all

aleyna