Loved The Right Way (My Husbands Best Friend)

Chapter Sixteen

The next day I woke It was 12:30 p.m. I looked over to my right to see if Terrence was still there and all I saw was a note on the night table next to the bed.

Adriana,

I know what I said this morning wasn't easy for you to hear. I just want you to know that it was not easy for me to say. I have been keeping that secret for as long as I have been loving you, and I have loved you from the first moment that I saw you. You asked me a while ago did, I have anyone special in my life. I answered by saying that I have friends and I haven't found anyone special. The truth is, I have found that special person, and that person is you.

You cannot imagine how it has been for me. Seeing a man who you consider your brother marry the woman that you love. I think that was the hardest thing that I ever had to face—wishing that the family he had was mine. Wishing that every time that he was inside you it was me. Every kiss that was placed on your body by him, that it was me giving you that pleasure. Every time he made you laugh wishing that it were me who was putting that smile on your beautiful face. I even wished that in every argument small or big that I was the one that you were yelling at. Love is something that is a privilege. When you find it, you should hold on to it. So, when I found it, I held on. Now I guess I must hold on to it from afar.

I do not know if you remembered anything that happened this morning, but I just want you to know that I am sorry that I did not try and stop it. If you would not have gotten sick, I know we would have done something that we both would have regretted. Believe me when I tell you I would have gone through with it and dealt with the regret later.

Well, if you had not noticed by now, this is a letter to let you know that I am going to keep my distance from you. I could see that last night brought some feelings out of me and you that will take some time to get over. I am sorry for everything that you are going through, and I wish that I could do something for you to ease your pain. Know that I love you and wished this could be different.

-Terrence

I didn't know what to think at that moment. I didn't want him to be out of my life, again. I really needed him, but I didn't want to confuse things any more than they already were. I guess he was right about one thing, I do think that we both would have regretted it. I put the letter down on my nightstand and checked my phone for missed calls. I saw that my sister had called 11 times, my mother twice, and Lamar had called 20 more times. I turned the ringer back on as I sat in my bed. I thought about Lamar and were there any signs that I missed. He was always home after work, he always had a sex drive, and he always had an interest in me.

When I looked up, my sister was standing in my room. I jumped because she startled me. I clenched my chest, "You just scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?" I glanced over at the nightstand to see if she had seen the letter that Terrence left.

"Well, I thought I would come over to see my sister. I tried calling all night, and you didn't answer the phone. I thought maybe you were trying to back out of the date that you have with Anthony tonight."

Shit, I had forgotten all about that. I really didn't feel like going out. I just felt like getting under my covers and eating a nice hot brownie with some ice cream and looking at the television. I guess going out wouldn't be that bad. Anything to help me get Lamar and Terrence off my mind. Then I said to her, "I totally forgot all about that."

"Yeah, right," she said as she walked over and grabbed the note that Terrence wrote. "What's this?"

I snatched it from her hands before she could read it. "Everything is not for you."