Loved The Right Way (My Husbands Best Friend)

Chapter Twenty-Three

I had to wait almost a month to move into my new place, and today was moving day. I thought that once I broke the news to Little L, he was going to hate the fact that we were moving into a new place, but he actually was quite happy. Everyone came to help me move, my mom, dad, sister, and my cousins even though everyone did more prying than they did moving, asking me when were they going to meet this mysterious man in my life that got me to leave Lamar? I wasn't quite sure on where they had been for the last year or so, but news flash Lamar left me. I asked Anthony to stay away because I knew how they would act. I love my family, and I know how they are. They would have asked him every question in the book. Especially my cousin, Tracey, we call her Tray. Tracey has the biggest mouth in history. She asks anything that comes to mind and never thinks, just like her mother. They do it because they love me, but I didn't want him to be bombarded by questions. I don't think that he was ready for all that love yet. It's a good thing that there wasn't much to move. Because I decided to leave everything behind for Lamar except for our clothes, my chaise, and other small things. I wanted to start anew. I just wanted nothing to make me think of Lamar's and my life together. It's not that I don't value everything that Lamar and I had together, it is just that it was time to get over him and wasn't doing that by living in the house that we had shared together for so many years.

As I walked down the stairwell with a dress bag full of clothes, in walks Lamar.

"So, I see everyone is here having a party on my behalf. Is everyone having fun?"

He asked as he looked at me and blew a kiss.

I just rolled my eyes and continued down the stairs with my clothes in my hand. "Why does everything have to be about Lamar? No one is trying to make anything hard on you. Contrary to your belief, everything is not always about you."

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Lamar reached out his hand to take the clothes from me. "I guess since you are moving out on account of me, the least that I can do is help you walk out of my life. I mean, what kind of man would I be?" he said as he grabbed the clothes out of my hand.

"I don't know, but we all know that you wouldn't be a man that ever has a loss for words or sarcasm." When I looked around, everyone was looking at me like I was the bad guy.

My mother shook her head and said, "Why do you have to be so mean? He is just trying to help. He has the right to be a little upset. You are leaving him."

I just looked at my mother and shook my head. I couldn't believe that she just said that. I walked toward the kitchen because I was about through with that shit. I went to the cabinet and pulled out a cup so that I could make some tea to calm my nerves just a little. When I turned around to grab the tea kettle to fill it with water, Lamar walks into the kitchen.

"Why did you walk out like that? Your mother was only telling the truth."

I turned back around to put the kettle back on the stove and said, "What and the hell is wrong with you? Why do you think that the world revolves around you? I guess that you forgot about all the shit you have done to me that has brought us to this point. How can you even stand there and blame me for this shit? I was the victim here, not you, and now everyone is trying to blame all of this on me."

Lamar walked over to me and said, "I have already told you several times how sorry that I am for doing that shit to you. I just want it to be like it used to be."

"How and the hell do you want it to be like it used to be when everything we had was a lie?" I said as I turned my face away from him. Goodness, he smelled good and looked good, too.

He grabbed my chin and lifted it up, and gave me a kiss "I love you, and that is no lie.

"I love you too, but you are not ready for this."

"This as in what?"

"Us...you, Little L,  and me, being a family. That is what." I said as I yanked my chin away from his fingers to walk toward my tea kettle, which had just started to whistle.

"So, you think that I am not ready for a family? What do you call what we have been doing for the last, um ten years now?

"I don't know. That is exactly what I am trying to figure out myself. What have we been doing? To you it seems as though it has been all fun and games." I said as I picked up my teacup and headed toward the door to exit the kitchen.

"Wait, just hold up one second. Can we talk? Don't walk away." he said, looking like a little puppy dog who had lost his way. He jumped in front of me and stopped me from leaving the kitchen.

"You know I really think that we have discussed all that we needed to discuss for a lifetime. You are not going to change, no matter what, and I am sick of trying to change you."

"I can change I promise you. You just have to give me a chance. I beg you, please." he pleaded as he put his hands together and placed them up to his mouth.

In a way, I wanted to say okay and jump into his arms and tell everyone to go home. I couldn't do that, though, because Lamar and I are past that stage, not to mention if I took him back, I would be taking a step back and set myself up to get hurt all over again.

"If your family couldn't make you not cheat in the beginning, then why do you think we can make you change now? I truly would love to believe everything you say, but I don't think we should live together even if we are trying to work anything out. "

"So, are you saying that we have a chance? That is what 'if we are trying to work anything out' means, correct?" he said as he grabbed my teacup out of my hand and placed it on the kitchen counter. I know that if you give me another chance, we could make this work."

"This is the problem that we have now. It is not we...it is you. You are the cause of all our problems. I guess I am also because I let it go on for so long. I would love nothing more but to be with you, but it is not going to work. I know it, and you know it. So, let's just stop hoping for something that is never going to happen. Please just let me leave."

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do you love me?" he asked again in a lower toned voice as he looked into my eyes.

"Yes, I love you. You already know that. Still, that doesn't make this situation better it makes it worse."

"That is why I know that this could work. I love you, and I know that I fucked up. Believe me I know that. I'm not perfect, but-- " Lamar then leaned down and kissed me on my lips. His lips felt so good on mine, and I wanted to stop him, but I couldn't. My heart started to pound, and I just melted into his arms. He put both his hands on either side of my face and started kissing me passionately. If my parents weren't in the other room, I know that we would have been butt ass naked fucking each other's brains out. Then my cell phone rang, and it shocked me back into reality. I pushed Lamar away from me and pulled my phone out of my pocket. It was Anthony, "I'm sorry I can't do this." I said before I quickly walked out of the kitchen. Lamar called my name and I just kept on walking. I didn't answer the phone because I was just a little overwhelmed by what had just happened. I also knew that Anthony would hear something in my voice and start asking questions I could not answer.