Operation Centuria: The First 25

Day 3: Popcorn "Lana Diaries" by Pauline

Entry 1:

Dear Diary,

Candy just got home from her “play date” with Jeremy.

She won’t tell me what happened. She locked herself in her room, talking to Shelly big mouth over the phone.

She’s not usually this annoying. But now, she won’t even tell me a bedtime story.

I’m getting really impatient. I NEED MY STORY!!!!!

What’s so fancy about play dates anyway? Mom tried to set me up once. I didn’t like it. EWWWW.

Did Jeremy take her to a fairy tale playground?

NAH. Guys are gross. They don’t believe in magic.

Did they buy the latest Baby Alive from a humangoose toy store?

NAH. Candy stuffs all her money inside a pig.

GAAAAAAH! Candy’s giggling again. My poor ears! :(((

Mom’s blaming me for staying up late. She even threatened to throw you.

NOOOOOOOOOO! NO MOM! I <3 DIARY! Stop being a meanie! — I said those things to her, in my mind.

Mom is gone now. You can breathe now. But you have no nose. That must be weird. Like Baldemord. 

I <3 DIARY. Don’t forget.

Candy is a loser.

Wet kisses, Lana

Entry 2: 

Dear Diary,

After 123456789999 years, Candy finally came out of her room.

I’m surprised that she was able to hold it in for that long. My classmates could not stand not peeing every morning. I can’t not pee when I was a baby. Peeing is REALLY IMPORTANT!

Anyway, when Candy came out, she didn’t run to the toilet. Surprise again. She went to mom to giggle some more.

I HATE HER VOICE!!!!!!!

As weird as it is, Mom loves talking and giggling to. With Candy. Weird. She must really love her a lot. Which is weird again. Who could ever love Candy?

Okay. Maybe I do love her. A bit. A teeeny weeeny bit. I just don’t love her right now because she didn’t tell me a story last night.

Anyways, I listened to their girl talk. Used my ninja skills. I was awesome. They never knew that I was just behind them. They kept glancing though. Must bee some neck problem. Tsktsk.

I hear lotsa.

Candy and Jeremy didn’t play at all. I thought that sucked. 

But then Candy told mom about the kingdom of “silver screens”. They were like really big television. 

And… I love the telly! Especially the giant dancing purple dino show.

Candy says she had a magical time there. There were extra comfy chairs and air-conditioned air. 

AND… AND… AND… THEY GOT TO EAT A FLOWER WITHOUT ADULTS TELLING ON THEM!

Candy says it’s a magic flower. Or not. Not sure. I think she did say so.

Anyway, by the way she smiled, it must be really really REALLY tasty! Better than marshmallows and rainbows, and fairies, and pizza and ice cream.

Diary, do you think I can persuade Jeremy to take me on a play date?