Operation Centuria: The First 25

DAY 25: TOOTH ("You Win Some, You Lose Some") by Pauline Navarro

"That fucking bitch slept with my dick-less boyfriend!"

"Excuse me for a moment, Nurse Kaye. Tell the rest of the patients that I'll be taking a short break."

"Yes, Dr. Connor."

"What is it, Rosita?"

"Mom, were you not listening?"

"Ashley, blonde, breast implants Ashley just had sex with Derek! Fucking sex! Inside a janitor's fucking closet!"

"Watch your language. There are patients outside."

"You don't understand, mom. Swearing helps me release all the anger. Besides, swearing should be allowed in your office. It's painful to get your teeth out!"

"Don't humor me, Rosita. Try to not say a bad word."

"Alright. Anyway, when I went to class this morning, Ashley blocked my way and bragged about it. I was with my girls and I just felt so humiliated. To make things worst, Derek came to defend her!"

"Oh moooooom! I don't know what to do. I just feel so horrible."

"You win some; you lose some."

"What does that even mean? You've been telling me that since I was born."

"It is what it is. You win some; you lose some."

"Thanks for nothing, mom. I didn't know this was an English class on quote interpretations."

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"It's a wonder how I can look back at the past twenty years of my life and summarize it in a paragraph. Words can do that." I addressed the sea of familiar people. Some are family while some are revisiting faces of the past.

"If I would, which I will, I would probably blab about how my life was after I decided to be independent and I worked at my first office and how I met the One. Then I'd go on and on about being married and moving to New York. I'd tell you about the time we bought our new house and about baby Jane's first steps." The crowd was warming up. My husband beamed at me with pride.

"But I would never tell you about my mom... how she visits our place, how she spoils her grandchildren and how she just sits down and talks to me. Do you know why?" All the smiles were gone. "Because she was never there. I never allowed her to be a part of the past twenty years of my life."

"She had this crazy philosophy that she's been feeding me ever since time begun... you win some, you lose some." I looked down on the floor. "I never really got it. She kept saying it. And eventually, I hated her for it."

I took a deep breath. "All I wanted was to gain her sympathy... to experience how a mother-daughter drama session would be. I would tell her my problems... big or small but she would just give me that-that response. It would always feel like she doesn't care. She's so cold and emotionless."

"I was eighteen when I decided to leave her for it. I couldn't take living under the same roof with a woman that would never look at me with love. I felt unwanted so I left." My breath was now shaky.

"And now that it's too late. Again, I've lost someone important." I held the ends of my shirt.

"Losing takes a big toll on us and we forget that losing is bound to happen to everyone but it doesn't mean that we'll never win."

"I know my mom is in a better place now. But even if we're not together now, realizing this principle helped me win our relationship back."