Love is blind

Julia

I really have no idea why I said that. It flew right out of my mouth. Not that it's a lie, since Sem sleeps at the babysitter today. I sit down at the table across from Frederick. Kimberly sits next to him. Every time I want to take a look at her, I immediately look into those beautiful brown eyes of hers. So I'm not the only one who wants to look at someone, only she's a little better at it than me. Although I don't mind looking into those beautiful eyes. Normally I don't like it when someone looks at me, but it feels nice that she does it so. I had already said something about it to someone else. I don't know how it is that she has that effect on me.

It's quiet at the table. I am glad that after a while Frederick breaks the silence. I don't really know how to behave and I mainly focus on the sushi we ordered. "How was your first day? ". I look at him with a smile. "Fine. I have already been able to find my way in the programs. I have already met some interesting people." I say the latter when I look at Kimberly. I see a small smile on her face. "That's good to hear. How did Sem feel about you going back to work? ". When Frederick asks that, Kimberly's smile disappears again. "He is happy for me". I see Kimberly playing with her food a bit. "Is he your boyfriend? ". She seems almost annoyed to ask. "No, Sem is my son". She looks at me a bit surprised. "O. How old is he? ". "Sem is eleven," I say proudly. I can't quite read the expression on Kimberly's face. "Ok nice. And his father? ". Shit, I don't want to talk about this. Fortunately, Frederick notices and comes to my rescue. "Princess, what time do you have that shoot on Friday? ". Kimberly looks a little surprised, but seems to have figured out not to elaborate. "At eleven o'clock. So I can actually sleep in a bit," she says with a small smile. "What kind of shoot are you having?" I ask genuinely interested. "For the new swimwear line that will be launched next month". The three of us talk about the company for a while. Until Frederick gets a call asking if he wants to help someone else in the building.

Here I am alone with Kimberly. "May I ask how old you are? " she asks a bit uncertainly, after we've sat in silence for a while. "Didn't you ever learn not to ask a lady that? ". I say it laughing, but I see Kimberly looking a bit panicked. "Just kidding. Of course you can ask. I am thirty and you? ". I can read the relief on her face. "Twenty three. I expected you to be a bit older". I look at her in surprise. "Sorry, I don't mean you look older. If I had to go by your looks, I certainly wouldn't have guessed you older than twenty-six. But since Sem is already eleven, I thought you would be a bit older. So you were a young mother ". I just nod because I'm not sure how to respond to this. "I don't mean anything wrong with that," she says a bit uncertainly. I look at Kimberly with a smile. "I know. I was indeed young. And thank you for the compliment. But Friday you have a shoot. Do you have time for that? ". She nods. I hope we don't talk about me any further now. "I always like to make time for that. I really like doing that. At the moment I do have the time for it. Today I had the last filming day for a TV series for now. In three months I will start something new". I see her face lighting up when she says that. "You really love your job, don't you? And what will you be doing in three months? ". She gives me a small smile. "Sorry, I can't say anything about that yet. And yes, I definitely love my job. I love to fully immerse myself in a character. There are, of course, also downsides. Everyone recognize you and want something. And let's not talk about the press at all." I nod understandingly. "I can get there". So we talk for a while and get to know each other a little better. She is really very different from what my colleagues described her.

After a while Frederick is back and joins us at the table again. I now take a moment to take a good look at his office. "Is that Vincent? "I ask, pointing to a picture on the wall. I almost forgot about him. I don't remember much of the time before my parents passed away. "Yes, that's Vincent". Frederick answers in the affirmative. I look Kimberly in the eye. She now has a completely different look in her eyes. "You have beautiful children. I do remember when I used to play with him. Where is he now? ". I'm shocked by the pain I see in Kimberly's eyes. She gets up and doesn't know how fast to leave the office. Before she leaves the office with a slamming door, she screams, "He's dead."

Shit, why didn't I know that. If I did know, I wouldn't have hurt Kimberly by bringing it up like that. I want to get up to go after her, but Frederick stops me. "Don't Julia. I know you mean well, but if Kimberly is like this then you should let her go." I look at him. "Sorry, I didn't know. I can't let her leave like this anyway". Frederick takes out his phone. "Max if Kimberly isn't home in an hour, let me know." It's quiet for a while. "Yes. Tell everyone to leave her alone. I'll talk to you tomorrow". Then Frederick hangs up the phone and looks at me again. "If Kimberly is like this, leave her alone or it will only get worse. No one can calm her down. Fortunately, she always goes straight home and takes it out in the gym." He says it with a small smile, but I can read the pain on his face. "Does this happen often? And what happened to Vincent if I may ask? ". Fredrick sighs. "Vincent was stabbed three years ago. Kimberly feels unfairly guilty for his death. When she looks back at that period, she reacts like this. It hurts her too much". He looks at me sadly. "I am really sorry. Why does she feel guilty? ". I find it all a bit hard to process and don't really know how to react to it. "I can't explain that to you. I promised Kimberly that when she feels it's time, she'll tell people herself. I really hope that time will come someday. That she's going to accept that it wasn't her fault". I wonder what's going on in Kimberly and how much pain she must be in. "Doesn't she have anyone she can talk to about it? ". He shakes his head. "Not really. Kimberly trusts no one. She can talk well about him with her mother and with me. Only about the beautiful memories. As soon as we try to talk about that period, she reacts like she just did. I also know that very occasionally she talks to her manager about it". I feel sorry for her and also for Frederick. I can see it hurts him. "I hope she will accepted it one day. For her, but also for you". "Thank you. I hope so for her too. It would do her good. I was able to give it a place, but it's still hard to see your daughter like this". Frederick stands up. "It's time to go home. Tomorrow is an early day again". I nod and follow him outside. "Frederick, give Kimberly a hug from me if you see her," I say just before he wants to get into his car. "I'm going to see her in the morning and then I certainly will. See you tomorrow ". As soon as Frederick gets in, the car drives off. My thoughts stay with Kimberly for the rest of the evening.