Always Be Forever

Chapter 3: Cashmere

2090, BCE, September 30

It was finally here. I've been looking forward to this night for a long time. All my years of practice were for this night. I knew that I did the right thing joining the jazz band. I do have my parents to thank, because they were the ones who told me to join, and Snow was there to keep my head straight. My life hasn't been great, with my grandfather leaving me. I still think of him to this day, how I miss him. But still, if he was around, I would talk to him, tell him about my day. I miss him, I really do. But it's been awhile since he passed away, I was quite young. My grandmother is the only other parent my dad has. I know he isn't alone; he has an older brother and sister. Still, I wish I could do something about it.

He would've been proud of me. That I know for sure. "You got this Cashmere," I would hear him telling me in my mind as I head up on the stage holding my trombone with my left hand and my music in the other. Setting up in my chair, I feel a burst of light coming up on me. It feels like I have a spotlight on me. It must've been a spotlight, because I had a solo in the first piece. Chris was right beside me, shaking. I couldn't tell if she was excited or scared. "Are you ready Cashmere?" She asks me, leaning in. "To be honest, I don't really know," I tell her, realizing that many things could happen tonight. I could run into Tiffany, an ex-friend and her younger sister, Julia, along with their mother, Andrea. Many things had happened with their family that destroyed our friendship. "Are you asking about tonight in general or about the piece?" I ask Chris, because her question was so vague, there could be multiple different answers to it. "I was asking about the solo," Chris clarifies for me. "Okay," I tell her before focusing on the music and I see Mrs. Gunmerson coming onto the stage. I feel pretty confident about the solo. I've practiced it so many times; I could play it in my sleep.

This is my first year on trombone, and second on French horn. I've enjoyed playing them both so far, and I really want to have a career on either one of them. My parents, Jasmine and James keep telling me that I need to make it in on French horn if I want a music degree; trombone and piano are not options. My first instrument is piano, and I've been playing for a long time. I've just started my RCM Grade 4 Piano, and I plan to go up to the Licentiate. The Licentiate is where you have to play a 60-minute piece memorized. "That's going to be easy!" I remember telling Jasmine when we were looking at the highest level for piano. James plays guitar, but he never plays outside of the house. I keep on insisting that he plays at church, St. Michael's, but he never brings it. The bar of 6/8 comes up and I need to focus. It switches back to 4/4, and then ¾ for two bars. Got to count and stay focused. Stay focused Cashmere; stay focused. Switching to 5/4, and then 4/8, I lose my count. Shit. "Just be glad that you're not on first trombone," I hear James tell me in my mind. I had stopped playing for a few seconds, and Chris could tell that I was lost. Mrs. Gunmerson had chosen a hard piece for us, and I wish we didn't play. I was just frozen there, holding my trombone up, not moving the slide, not playing; not moving at all. Chris had pointed to where we were on my page. Chris was on first trombone with Steven on second; I was on third, and there was no fourth. Finally realizing where we were, I was able to jump back in no problem. I see Chris give me a look, my cue for my solo coming up. Chris and Steven play a lick without me, and then I come in. I stand up, and finally play the solo. It was a written solo, but I was able to memorize it. Day and night, I would practice it. It had to be perfect.

The thing about the word "perfect" is so vague. You ask a person what they think it means, and you get something different than you expect. Then you move on and ask another person what you think the definition is, and it's totally different than what you had just heard. It's just one of the many problems with society now. Don't get me started on the other things that society has been having issues with. Don't get me started on explaining my past. I've even been dealing with some issues that are not fun. It's mainly because of Tiffany though.

I think back to when we used to be friends. I don't understand what stopped it; she wasn't talking to me at the beginning of the year. Oh well, if there's one thing that I know for sure, I blame Jack Strapple for everything. Or shall I say, my brother. I never even said anything to Snow about my relation to her. She doesn't need to know, and she's never going to know. I know Jack through dance class. I heard about him through Eleanor and Amy. He's in grade 10, and he's messed up.

To be honest, I never grew up with him in the house, so technically he's like my stepbrother, but he's not the only one. I prefer to call Jack my stepbrother, and the other one my long-lost brother. I know how I'm related to Snow, but not Ben. I have heard of James talking to Snow's mother, Lucy about some kid, but I don't know the person. I at least like to think I have a long-lost brother. My family tree is very confusing.

After I'm done my solo, I sit back down in my chair. I totally blew the solo, but the audience goes wild anyway. They don't know that I messed up about 2/3 of the solo, except for James and Jasmine. I see them at the corner table in the gym, and James clapping. Jasmine just shows thumbs up. Well I'm just glad it was only them who realized the mistake. If it were the entire band, I would want to leave the stage and go bury myself from embarrassment. But I don't. We play one more piece, a rather easy one, but it's one that I just hate. We play "It Had To Be You," featuring Jade on first trumpet. I hate the song with a passion. I say this because it is way too overplayed in jazz bands, especially since I was in a jazz camp this past summer. Almost every combo played it, and it just became an earworm. I do not like the piece, and I never will. When we had got the piece, I had just wanted to go bury my head under the floor so badly that Chris was wondering if I was okay.

We do things quite differently here at St. Christina's, especially since our Big Band Night is in September. It is normally expected that it is done at the end of the year, but things are different here, and this goes for all the other schools as well. We get our instruments at the end of the previous year, we're given all summer to learn our instruments, and once we've mastered the instrument, we go to Jazz camp at Allard University. There, we meet the other students that we play with during the school year. That's where I had met Steven and Chris. When September comes, the jazz teacher starts practices. Since we only have a month for preparing, she drilled us a lot, booked a lot of practices, even outside of school. I remember Steven and Chris had to come over a few times just to practice. It was some fun times though.

After our set, I grab my music folder, put my music away, do the lock up on my trombone, and I start leaving the stage with the band. Amy plays bass in the jazz band, and I've known her ever since grade 6. She had stayed back and waited for me. "Good job on the solo," she tells me as we both leave the stage. "I totally blew it," I tell her. I know I could've done better. I don't know what came over me. "Oh well, what's done is done," I tell her as we enter into the band room and I put my instrument away in its case. "But you did good," she tells me as Mrs. Gunmerson comes into the room to grab her phone. Her first name is actually Rachel. "Come on everyone! To the gym!" Rachel exclaims to the entire band. "I'll wait for you in the gym," Amy tells me before leaving the room along with Rachel. I was the only one left. I take a while to put things away.

Rachel isn't an exact teacher here at St. Christina's. She's filling in for Mr. Jazler, who's away on a family trip with his wife and kids at the moment. Rachel really works at Archbishop Macbeth High School, so I'm really confused as to what she's doing here. I have a weird feeling someone sent her just to spy on me and get Intel for some secret organization, but I could be wrong. I leave the band room, and I see James outside of the gym. He was with Lucy and Ben. I know Ben because he's in the high school jazz band, and I've heard of him through passing.

"Ben, there's something important we need to discuss," I overhear James tell him. I hide behind the entranceway to the cafeteria so they can't see me. "What is it?" Ben asks Lucy and James, confused as to what's going on. "It's the truth about your parents," Lucy had started. I didn't know where this was going. "What about them?" Ben had asked, rather startled that they know his parents. "You may think that Jane and Ross are your parents, but they actually aren't. They adopted you," James had told Ben. I didn't like where this was going. "We're here to tell you the truth," Lucy had continued. "I'm your real mother," Lucy had finished. "And I'm your real father," I hear James add on. Startled, I run to the bathroom before I lose my shit.