It Takes Time

20

Y/N was aware that it had been a mistake to go back to Haruto. She had known from the outset, but at the beginning things were good. They were so much better than before, and Y/N was starting to get used to it. She was starting to change her mind, to think that maybe everything would be fine now.

Haruto let her talk to whoever she wanted, he let her go out after work. He still had some issue with her being friends with Shouta, but he said that he was the problem here, and that he was going to work on it. He had stopped drinking so much, too. He sometimes still got angry, but it was much rarer than before. Things seemed to be looking up for Y/N, that's what she thought, at least. Maybe she had been too trusting, maybe she was too naïve. She didn't know how things got bad again. It happened so gradually.

At first, Haruto got angry more often when she stayed out late. He said that he would like her to come home earlier, spend more time with him and not so much time with her workmates. He kept saying that it would help him overcome his jealousy, so Y/N figured it was a reasonable request. After all, they both had to put in work to make this work, right? It wasn't just all up to Haruto, was it?

But the next time she had been a little later than usual, she found him drunk and angry, waiting for her and yelling at her, berating her. Y/N quickly slipped back into the same old mindset – do everything right, don't make him angry, try not to be seen too much. At least he wasn't hitting her. At least he wasn't throwing things. That meant he was improving, right? And he apologised right after, too!

So, Y/N started making excuses. She started not staying out so late anymore, she started declining invitations. She tried to not talk too much to Shouta. It soon emerged that Haruto thought that Shouta was the real issue here, that he didn't want them to be as close as they were, because he couldn't stop thinking about her having stayed in his apartment. He kept saying that he found it hard to believe that nothing had happened between them and that it would be easier for him if she didn't meet with Shouta alone.

So, Y/N stopped doing that – she made sure that there would always be other people around, that they never had lunch together anymore, but that it was always in a group. She was hoping that Shouta wouldn't notice. If he noticed, he didn't say anything to her. It happened only once that she went for lunch with just him, and it made Haruto incredibly angry. That was the one night she knew that things weren't going to change. He didn't hit her then, but he started throwing things again, he was scaring her again.

But what was she supposed to do now? Sure, Shouta had said that she could always come back to him and stay with him again, and there was nothing that Y/N wanted more, but she was also so embarrassed to admit that she had been wrong. That Shouta had been right all along. And Y/N was tired of having to rely on other people to solve her problems for her. Why couldn't she just be strong on her own?

So, she just continued, as if everything was normal. She pretended that things were fine and that there was nothing to be worried about. Y/N couldn't tell if Shouta was noticing that she was putting up a façade. He seemed to be worried about her, but then again, he constantly worried about her. He had been asking if she was okay from the day she started, so there was no change there. But she knew that she would have to tell him that she couldn't talk to him much anymore. Not if she wanted to avoid Haruto's wrath.

Y/N had sleepless nights, thinking about how she could possibly tell Shouta without giving away that she was in trouble again. She turned the situation back and forth in her mind, but there was simply no way to avoid at least hinting at what was going on. But if it was going to help her to stay away from Shouta, then what choice did she have? Maybe that would help her situation. Maybe then Haruto would be less angry again. Maybe they'd be able to go back to the way things had been like at the beginning.