Finding Paris - (gxg)

Chapter 27

TW // There's going to be many mentions of addiction here on in the book, just so you all know.

"Hi my name is Riley and I'm an alcoholic." It was Riley's turn to talk in the meeting as everyone greeted her. "I've been sober for about three weeks now... I was for one week before I slipped again... a month before that one and so on."

Riley sighed—she was tired of these meetings, they were supposed to help her yet she still kept relapsing. "I'm tired of getting back to the start, of falling over and over again... I wonder if it's even worthy to get better. I did this to myself, now that I'm alone there's no one I can hurt... so maybe it is better if I drown my sorrows in alcohol."

"You think that but you are here... you are trying to get better despite your thoughts of surrendering." An old man that she remembered to be called David spoke to her. "Because you believe being sober is worthy. Deep down you believe getting better is what you need and want."

"Do you really believe there's a light at the end of this tunnel?" Riley questioned not only him, but to the rest of the people in the meeting as well.

"We have to, because what is life without having some faith kid?" David was the only who gave her an answer.

My life.

Riley kept quiet until the end of the tenuous meeting. Why did she even bothered still? She thought it would made her feel less alone, her mother thought they would help her—she felt as miserable as ever. It was just a place where she would go and let strangers know that she was still an alcoholic— an in recovery alcoholic.

What was even the point?

Her phone rang as she walked to her car—it was the middle of the night and there was only one person that could be calling her. Her mother. "Hello?"

"Hi Riley, how was the meeting?" She had to give it to her mother, the woman did try for her — she tried more than anyone has for her. But then again, she was her mother—she was morally obliged to.

"I attended it so... it was good."

"That doesn't sound good. Riley come home, okay? Straight home, no stops—I'll be there in a few when I'm done at the office." Riley knew her mother loved her, but no matter that she would never put her work above her. She's always known it and has made peace with it a long time ago.

"Don't worry mom, I'll be home."

"Don't ask a mother not worry about her daughter."

Riley tried not to cry as she leaned against her car. Why was she crying for? God only knows. "I'll be home," she repeated and hung up.

No one knew the real reason of why she had moved back to Los Angeles, all of her so called friends had just assumed it was because of her breakup with Paris and not because she was now battling an addiction.

Six months after Paris and her broke up Riley had gotten into a car accident—she had been drunk and driving, she crashed against a car... she knows no one died, but that's all she recalls from that night. Her mom had fled right away to New York to bail her daughter out, Riley had left unscathed of the accident but never knew how bad the other people were... she didn't want to know — paying their medical bills was the only thing she did and knowing no one died or... ended up in a coma was enough for her. After that night she had to attend AA as part of the deal for her not to rot in jail.

Maybe she deserved to be rotting in jail.

This just added to the list on why she hated herself.

Her mother made her move back with her to Los Angeles to keep an eye on her — it was not like Riley wanted to stay in New York any longer.