let's call this a trial run book.. a free trial.
i love writing, the imagination, and creativity. with that being said, this is something new for me.. writing a book and letting people read it. i have no idea what i'm doing but the first step is to...
I entered the building forgetting that there's no need to be in a rush because I came 20 minutes early. I hate being late, it just gives me more anxiety.
I went to the front desk and checked in.
"Hello, you're here to see?" She looks up at me with a smile.
"Alice for 3:30." I speak. I look back at the door and you will never guess who I saw.
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I'm sitting in the room waiting to be questioned but she's just staring at me. I think she's analyzing me. "What happened?" She finally speaks while giving me puzzled look.
I really don't know how to answer or what to say. "How do you know something happened?" I ask confidently.
"Your leg keeps bouncing like you're worried, you're biting your nails, and your eyes keep going back and forth. Lani this a safe space and you know that. Talk when you're ready." She stares at me deeply making it more sincere.
I sit up and rub my sweaty hands on my pants clearing my throat. "I think I may be lesbian, but I don't know if it's true." I say.
"What makes you think that?" She asks writing on her paper.
"I got invited to a party a few nights ago and some chick was there. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her all night. She was so beautiful that I had to go speak and I did. Turns out she had a boyfriend and I think they got into it because when it was time for me to head out, he was nowhere to be found. She was drunk and I had to take her home with me." I finished looking at her.
"So, you think you're a lesbian because she's beautiful?" She questioned.
"That night at my place we k- kissed." I said laying back against the chair beginning to bite my nails.
"Sexuality is a complicated thing to get into. People are sure they're one thing but then choose to identify as another the second things turn out differently or them. That thing could be a situation, a conversation, or person, etc etc. I think you should look into it, and I'll give you some tools to do so but by all means you could just be girl that likes what she likes. Don't let that stray you away from having an identity if you want too though." I nod my head.
She gets up and looks though some papers. "Ah! Here." She walks over and hands them to me. "Thank you?" I say in a questioning tone.
"Here I've handed you some papers going over the spectrum of sexuality, their identifiers, and what they mean. Keep them and by all means look through the whole thing. It'll help you. Next meeting, we will see what you think so far and carry on with our session. I want to make sure I give you the tools to learn yourself because me just sitting here and telling you to do this and that won't help in all. I want you to be able to drive the conversation while still being able to know what you're talking about; this will help you for when you encounter situations that might be difficult moving on. I look forward into hearing if this helped or not." She states looking at me.
"Thank you, I really appreciate this." I speak.
"It's never a problem." She smiles.
...
Thank you for reading, I appreciate you so much. <3
