Let me start over

worried

September 26th

3:30pm

It's been a couple of weeks since everything with the festival. I've had a good number of clients thanks to Bre putting in word for me around the area, but I've been promoting as well on my socials which has gained attraction since the festival which I'm entirely grateful for. Me and Alice have a session over zoom this afternoon. She works in the office some days and some at home. 

Ding Ding

I quickly snap one more shot on the MacBook camera before answering the call.

Ding Ding 

I tap the green icon on the bottom left. "Hello Lani, how are you today? It's good seeing your face!" She says to me not even a second after I click the button. She smiles. 

I click out of the camera app giving her my full attention. "Hi Alice. I'm doing well and you? I answer with a smile back. 

"I'm good Lani, thank you. Why did you call in for this emergency session? Is everything okay?" Her eyebrows start to furrow with her lips going into a soft frown. 

I forgot to mention that I did call in the session as an emergency only because I'm still stuck on the Tori situation. I know what I should do but I don't want to.

"Why do I keep thinking of pursuing someone who's already with someone? I can't help to think that me and her are supposed to be together because- well I don't know because. Everything is just so scrambled." I look down at my hands. 

"Lani you simply have a crush, and it doesn't help that she and her partner are going through something again like you said. So, the natural thing you want to do is jump in and show her what she's missing but you can't do that when knowing you're the second option or the rebound. Why can't you see that she- 

"Sorry, there's someone at the door." I get up to open the door and I can't believe who it is.

I go and close my laptop quickly and just as I turn around and try to ask her what she's doing here but she interrupts me.

"Lani, we need to talk." 

...

At the kick back 

Omari

"Oh yeah, Hey Omari". Destin says. I go to dap him up, but he just looks me up and down. Then Tori turns around and tries to give me a kiss and I quickly dodge it getting up. I refuse to look a fool and stay where I'm obviously not wanted.

I get to the car and text one of the women I like to mess around with, hoping I can slide through. 

Omari - u up? 

Daya - why? what do you want now omari? 

Omari - omw.

I dash down the late-night streets of Miami getting to her as fast as I can. Even though I can't stand Tori, I would hate to break her heart when we're already in so deep, but Daya has everything I want. No one will find out. 

Daya - Hurry. 

I pulled right into her spot, getting out and knocking. 

"What took you so long O?" She looks at me with low eyes probably from smoking. 

I look at her "I'm here now, wassup?" I say and walk in, and we immediately start making out making our way upstairs to her room.

... 

Present 

Tori

"I saw all of the messages. She's asking him when he's going to leave me and what about the baby? Like you had a whole baby with her and on top of that he's telling her he wants to get married. I found the ring Lani, but the thing is.. he was never gonna leave m- me h-h he said it. I would have been with a on the low married man with a kid and she would've been okay with that!" I cried while Lani just stood there. "Say something?" 

"What do you want me to say. I can barely deal with my own problems so what makes you think I know what to say to this. That's why I'm in therapy." She says back. "I'm sorry but I don't know how to fix this for you".

"Everything is great for you Lani. You have nothing to worry about and this is not about you". I say calmly wiping me tears. I look at Lani and she's still looking at me blankly.

She goes to say something but then sits down by me. "Even though you didn't go to the extreme as he did, you did kiss me. You didn't tell him, and you were going to go on with the relationship with that being unsaid." She states.

"I planned on telling him". I scoff "But you didn't and now there's really no point". She says getting up and going by the door. "I think you have bigger fish to fry then coming over here and expecting comfort from a person you don't even know. You fix your mouth to tell me that I have nothing to worry about, and you are correct. I was worried for you, and I had no idea why and now I know why I shouldn't. It was nice meeting you Tori and I'm sorry for your situation, but I think it's best if you leave." 

She said that with no emotion. Her face was blank. What did I do wrong? "But Lani-" I say going to grab her hand. "Tori, you have to go" She grabs my hands and puts them on her face as she looks at me in the eyes while hers are teary. Her face now filled with emotion. She lets go and close the door.

worried - anxious or troubled about actual or potential problems.

...

Thank you for reading, I appreciate you so much. <3