let's call this a trial run book.. a free trial.
i love writing, the imagination, and creativity. with that being said, this is something new for me.. writing a book and letting people read it. i have no idea what i'm doing but the first step is to...
I've realized that I was giving myself too much credit. I don't know everything and that's ok.
Lately I've been coming into myself more.. spending more time alone and taking up my space. Everything I dealt with in the past was me not really knowing and that's ok. I moved to a new place, met a stranger that is now one of my best friends, fell in love with a stranger the first time I saw them and tried to love bombed my way into their space knowing their situation and only hurting myself because I thought I knew what love was, and got great opportunities with my photography career. All of this realization and I'm still confused.
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With all that has happened for me, I decided to create something from it. D, Bre and I are going to be doing a shoot today of myself. I think a lot has happened in a short time of being here in Miami. You're probably thinking "Girl- really?" and yes really. I like to mold my life in all of its moments and make something for someone. Even if it's just one person. Someone can take anything I went through and make something of it for themselves. I'll be that for them as Tori was for me, D was for me, Bre was for me, and I was for myself.
"Hey Lani, how are you beautiful?" Bre asked with concern in her eyes. Me and Bre had gotten close since the festival. She's an angle. My angel. "Hey angel, I'm here and feeling good about today. You?" I asked getting up to hug her.
"I'm honestly feeling so much joy for you and all that you're doing." She says back and I watch her carefully as she takes a seat across from me. "We haven't done anything yet" I laugh. "You are though, this moment right now can helped mold the shoot today and blossom into something greater for you and all that you're doing. Manifestation? Heard of it?" She laughed with me.
"Destin lets go, we've got things to do!" Bre yelled out.
We then hear a swish of slippers begin to hit the wood floor. "Girl quit all that naggin, let's go." He sits next to me giving me a comfort rub on my thigh.
I look around and take in my surroundings then look at the two very special people in my life and begin to cry. "My love runs deep for you two. I can express all day how much, but it wouldn't just take all day." We laugh. By now, they're used to me being emotional out of the blue and they don't fault me for it. They even said to me that it's one of the best things I hold within myself. When they first told me that, I didn't understand because I was always shamed for it. It's just something I'm not used to. I've grown with it though especially knowing the space that we hold is genuine.
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The love held for me by so many is overwhelming especially since I have no experience with a hold so loving. In every way I can.. I will now hold so much more for you because you stilled it in me first.
