Addicted to You (Devils Right Hand MC #3)

Chapter 12

Axe's POV

What the fuck?

That's the only question I can formulate in my head as I watch Gabby sleep beside me. Of course, I can't sleep. Of course, I can't shut my mind down because, well, what the fuck happened?

When I walked in on Clove holding Gabby while she sobbed, a part of me broke. I mean literally snapped in half as I tried to hold her together. I cannot imagine what she went through. I cannot imagine how she is feeling. So I had no idea how to help her. The only thing I could think as I held her was that I should've killed that sick bastard when I had the chance. No one that makes such a perfect human cry like this deserves to walk the earth. I would be doing a service to all of society.

But what happened after she stopped crying? Man, I could have never expected that.

Now, it all makes perfect sense. Why she freaked out when that weird guy came into the bar a while ago and started talking about Cass. Why she cringes every time she says the name Ginger. Why Grace was always so protective over her. Why she thinks she doesn't deserve the normal life she has right now. It's because she still sees herself as Ginger.

I was stupid not to pick up on the signs, but in retrospect, I don't think I was looking. I mean why would I? She's Gabby. She's the pretty bartender with a dark past. She's the girl who has been through hell and back. You can't expect a girl who went through that kind of battle to not have gotten her hands dirty a few times. To not have a few battle scars.

A part of me thinks I should care more. Maybe a part of me does because I can't even fathom other men touching her for money. Old, dirty, men with fucked up fantasies and a belief that they are better than women. No one, and I mean no one, is better than Gabby.

But then that begs the question, when did she start doing that? She told me she started using drugs when she was 15. There's no way she started that when she was so young, right? I mean her mom was there, somewhere, she had to protect her at least when she was underage, right?

Maybe this wasn't the first time she'd been put in a situation like this. Maybe that's why she cried so hard last night because she was finally allowing herself to feel the pain from all of the other times. All of the things she had to do for survival. All of the things she is so ashamed of, but she shouldn't be.

Those men on the other hand? I have half a mind to ask Bear to track down as many as he can. She was an addict. She might have been a child. They had NO fucking right to touch her like that, especially if it was so transactional.

Even as I lay in bed with my hand moving steadily up and down her back, a rage courses through me that I thought I could never feel in such a peaceful moment. She really thinks she deserves bad things to happen to her. She thinks she is responsible for Hank's actions, not him. She thinks she's trash. And she couldn't be more wrong if she tried.

Hearing her say those things about herself shattered me. It took the two pieces of me she had created earlier in the night and beat the hell out of them with a sledgehammer. I was completely shattered because she didn't get it. She didn't get how perfect she is, how strong she is. She's literally perfect, and maybe I didn't even see it until that exact moment. Maybe I've been the stupid one all along.

Even though I meant what I said, I didn't expect that kiss. My God, I've never felt anything like that in my entire life. The goosebumps that appeared on my arms and the feeling that erupted in my chest were things I'd never experienced. I have never had such a perfect reaction to such a short but sweet kiss.

And that made me feel like an asshole, for two reasons.

The first being Gabby was broken. She had been through hell and this was not a time to add something into the mix, even if she did kiss me first. I should've stopped it. I should've walked away. I definitely should not have pulled her closer because now that I've felt how her body molds to mine, I can't get it out of my fucking head.