Addicted to You (Devils Right Hand MC #3)

Chapter 31

Trigger warning: pregnancy loss

Axe's POV

I always thought shrinks were full of shit. Even when Gabby talked about her time in rehab, I never understood the full impact therapy had on her recovery. I just assumed she did the work herself, but that is almost impossible. In life, you have people around you because you can't do the hard stuff alone. That's a lesson I had to learn, it's a lesson I'm still learning.

I've been to see George a few times since the first appointment and even though it hurts like hell to talk about Mel, I think it's working. I think I'm finally getting a grip on myself.

We even came up with a plan for today. Today is the day of Gabby's doctor's appointment. Today is the day I get to see a picture of my kid. My kid, that still sounds weird to say, but it's true. I'm gonna have a kid and I am going to do right by it. After the appointment, Gabby is going to stop by the shop to show me the ultrasound picture and I'm going to talk to her. I'm going to tell her I'm in therapy. I'm going to tell her I fucked up. I'm going to actually talk to her today and mean every single word I say because I am still madly in love with her. I just need her to wait until I'm ready to love her like she deserves to be. I can't fuck it up again, not after everything that's happened.

There's a pep in my step today that I haven't had in over two weeks and I know it's because I finally have a plan. Today, I'll get to meet my kid. Today, we'll actually have a real conversation. Today is going to be a great day, it has to be.

"What's got you so happy?" Grease asks as I stroll into the shop with a smile on my face.

"Today is Gabby's appointment," I say with a grin.

"Grace go with her?" He asks while he's arm-deep in a Jeep Wrangler.

"Yeah, and Amber."

"You okay with that?"

"I mean, do I wish it was me, of course I do. But, I know why it's not and that's my fault. I can't change that, so I can just be happy."

"Whatever you're smoking, I want some of it," he chuckles as I begin flipping through the schedule today. It's a pretty light day so unless we have a ton of walk-ins I may actually get out of here at 5 inside of 8.

"I just gotta make the best outta what I got," I reply. I don't know if I fully believe that's how it works, but I'm trying something new. I have to try to stay positive because being negative all of the time clearly doesn't work. 

"Your shrink got you medicated?" He asks with a laugh.

"Not yet," I answer and I decide to change the subject. "Gabby still staying with Amber?" We both know I am asking if Amber let him come home, but I didn't want to outright ask it.

"Yeah," he answers, "we finally talked a few days ago and apparently this has been a long time coming. I had no fucking idea man, but I've been messing up for a while now."

"What do you mean?" I ask with shock evident in my voice. I thought they were perfect, they were my example of a happy and healthy couple.

"I didn't even realize it, but I stopped making her a priority. I don't even know how it happened, it just kind of did." He says with defeat evident in his voice as he steps away from the Jeep and stares at the ground. "Remember that ride we had last month?"

"Yeah."

"She was up all night the night before with Braxton Hicks contraction, false labor. The doctor said this was completely normal and that she wasn't in actual labor, but she didn't sleep a wink that night. I'm sure they hurt like hell and she was probably scarred after the hell she went through in the beginning. You know what I did?"