Addicted to You (Devils Right Hand MC #3)

Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own ANY rights to the song used in this chapter, but I recommend all of you go and listen to it! It's linked at the top of this chapter. Bible Belt by Taylor Austin Dye

Gabby's POV

One day at a time. That's what they shove down our throats in rehab. Just take it one day at a time and celebrate every sunset because you made it one more day sober.

That's a simple concept, but it's something I clung to during the beginning of my sobriety. When the withdrawals were so bad I thought my skin was going to grow legs and crawl off of me I would set small goals for myself like making it through 10 more minutes. Then I would stare at the clock and count down the seconds until I reached that goal, just to do it all over again. That strategy got me through detoxing. That mentality saved my life. But it's not feasible for the real world.

In the real world, you need a plan. You can't just count down on a clock and then start all over again. And that's another thing nobody told me about sobriety. That's something I can't fucking figure out because now I have no plan. I don't know how I can just go back to normal after this. But I guess I have to because that's my only feasible plan. I can't take it day by day anymore because if I did, I would quit my job and stay in this bed for a month. And while that sounds like heaven now, it'll screw me in the long run.

Yesterday was hard. I tried to act normal but everybody was so tense around me, like they were walking on eggshells. I keep telling myself that they were just trying to be respectful given everything that happened, but a part of me wonders if they know. Axe swears Hank only made a few side comments that Grace shut down but did any of the others put it together? If they did put it together do they hate me?

Of course all of the girls are being beyond nice and supportive, which has helped a lot. Clove finally got me to the clinic out back which is shockingly well stocked for a boot-legged MC clinic. After extensive X-rays, she told me I have two broken ribs and a hairline fracture in my eye socket but there is nothing we can do for those except put ice on them and wait. The bruising was horrible yesterday. I looked like a fucking Smurf there was so much blue over my pale skin. Maybe it'll be better today, but I'm not hopeful because bruises are like life, it has to get worse before it gets better.

Besides the obvious emotional shit show I've been in over the last 24 hours, there's still Axe. He's never left my side but I almost fucked it up. I want to jump in a time machine and undo the kiss because I could've lost the best friend I've ever had. The only person to actually see me. But then again, if a time machine were to magically appear on my doorstep, I'm not sure if I would actually go back and redo that situation because..... fuck I'm glad I got to experience that at least once.

Even if it will only be one time, that kiss gave me a confidence I didn't know was possible. He believes I've changed. He see Gabby and not Ginger and maybe one day that'll be enough.

I'm still wrapped in a blanket and curled into a ball in his bed. I'm sure it's late in the morning by the sun shinning through the curtains so he's probably at work by now. After dinner, I will have to go home. I can't free load off of them much longer, but for right now, I just want to stay in this bed. This bed makes me feel safe and after what happened I'm not sure if I will ever feel safe again in my apartment.

I can live in limbo for one more day, though. I can give myself one more day to be hurt and wallow in my self pity, but tomorrow, I have to put on my big girl panties and get over it. Because bad shit happens sometimes but that doesn't mean you can just stop. Even when you really want to.

My perfect bubble is popped with a short knock and the bedroom door opening. Only one person doesn't bother to wait for an answer before entering and why should he, it's his room after all.