Addicted to You (Devils Right Hand MC #3)

Chapter 35

A/N: So I have decided not to write an epilogue for this book. I just feel like I'll be able to wrap up their story better in the scene I have planned for the final chapter. But fret not, they will be featured in all future books! The exciting news is there are only TWO more chapters left!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving! Words cannot express how thankful I am for y'all!

Gabby's POV

Healing.

Two weeks ago I would've laughed in someone's face if they told me I would ever heal from losing my mom and son. That's part of the reason I was so broken, I thought I would feel that way forever. In the thick of it, you can't see a way out. I thought I would always feel like this because I knew I would always grieve my baby. I would always grieve my mom. I would always grieve my relationship. I thought that I could only grieve those things if I was so miserable I couldn't function. Now, I'm still grieving, but I know I have to keep moving forward. I'm still broken, but every day it gets a little more bearable. I'm still not convinced I'll ever really be okay again, but every day I wake up, the hole in my chest gets a little smaller.

As much as I want to tell you I did this out of sheer strength and will, I couldn't do it alone. I took Axe's advice and I've been going to therapy three times a week. Yes, it's a little extreme right now, but it's what I need to function. I didn't realize how bad it was until the night at the beach. Honestly, I think I've been broken for a lot longer than I realized.

So I take this one day at a time. That's all I have in me right now and I hope to God it's enough.

Everyone has been so amazing lately, not that I expected any less. I went back to work a few days ago and I think I'm finally falling back into my normal routine. Before yesterday, I went three whole days without crying. That was a huge accomplishment, but it all went to hell when we got my mom's ashes back. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with them? So, I shoved her in a drawer and then cried for 3 hours. I didn't just cry, though, I called Axe. I called him and he came right over and I felt like I wasn't alone. It helped. He helps.

But that just makes this all so confusing. I don't know what I'm doing. I just want to feel normal. In all of the chaos, I crave normalcy. And he makes me feel normal. He makes me feel like I'm home.

My tires crunch against of gravel of Amber's driveway as Axe fades from my thoughts. In the spirit of going back to normal, today I'm hanging out with Amber. Grease moved back in last week, but he and Axe are at a car auction in Savannah today. I didn't ask too many questions about why he chose to go to this auction when she is so close to her due date, but it definitely makes me wonder if he really has changed. I mean, is change even possible?

"Did you bring food?" Amber asks as I open the front door. I've been here so often I stopped knocking ages ago, but it still feels foreign to me.

"As requested," I chuckle as I hold up a Taco Bell bag.

"Extra hot sauce?" She asks with a raised eyebrow from her position on the sofa. She's been moving a lot slower lately and now it looks like she hasn't moved from that spot in at least a day. Not that I blame her, pregnancy is hard.

"Yep," I respond as I give her the bag of food. "But I thought you hated spicy foods?"

"Oh I do, I just read somewhere that spicy food induces labor," she says pointing to her large belly "and I want him out of me."

"You had a doctor's appointment yesterday, right?" I ask as I stare at her large belly. I'm so excited to meet this little boy, but I have this irrational fear that seeing him will only throw me into a deeper hole of grief. I'm afraid that seeing him will remind me that I'll never see Dawson.