Addicted to You (Devils Right Hand MC #3)

Chapter 26

A/N: Hey babes! I'm so sorry for the delay in posting. I hope most of you saw my announcement last week. It worked out that I could come home for my two-week summer break so I have been busy spending time with my family. I haven't been home in a while so I feel like the new car at a lot.... everybody wants to see me. I will be back to normal this Monday, so updates will return to normal then! Love you all!

Gabby's POV

My eyes slowly adjust to the dim light shining through the curtains as my brain thumps against my skull. I'm curled in a ball on Grace's couch and the muscles in my legs and back ache. I feel as if I ran a marathon yesterday and maybe in a way, I did. I ran a mental marathon and hit a literal brick wall. A brick wall that destroyed my entire life and made my body physically sore.

Last night was a blur of tears and hugs, but it didn't solve anything. I'm still pregnant and single. My mom still owes some maniac 2 grand. My friends still know about my past. My tears fixed absolutely nothing, they only gave me a fucking headache. Crying is useless. I know today I need to get my ass up and do something, anything, to fix this. The problem is, I don't know what I can do. I don't know where to start.

"You hungry?" Grace asks as I try to stretch my sore muscles. We camped out in the living room last night like a bunch of teenagers, but it felt nice to not be alone. Tonight, I'll have to go back to sleeping alone, but I wasn't ready to do that yesterday. I wasn't ready to do anything yesterday.

"No," I mumble. As I sit up, my stomach turns as a wave of nausea washes over me. Maybe it's the stress. Or maybe it's the baby. Who can tell at this point?

"At least drink this," Grace encourages as she pushes a glass of orange juice into my hand. I stare at the bright liquid and I find myself feeling jealous of a cup of fucking orange juice. It's so bright. It's damn near cheerful. Nothing deserves to look that happy because it's a trap. Happy things are just targets for life's missiles of destruction.

"Thanks," I mutter. The rest of the girls are scattered around the living room, all of them looking only half conscious yet concern still fills their drooping eyes.

"Gabby, Axe has called all of us a million times asking if you're okay. We haven't responded, yet," Clove says as her eyes stare through me. I'm sure they didn't want to start the heavy talk so early in the morning but the only thing my life has to offer right now is heavy shit. Shit that, by itself, could ruin someone's life. Oh, but I hit the trifecta. I had three life-altering shit storms hit me within an hour—sixty fucking minutes.

"We won't tell him a damn thing if you don't want us to," Amber snaps. I can see the rage radiating off of her body like hot steam from a pot of boiling water. She is taking this personally because Grease told Axe about my mom and she is the one who told Grease. I can't say I blame her for being pissed, if the situations were reversed I would be too. I just can't help but be jealous that she has a man who would walk through fire for her but made a mistake and I had a man who stepped on one hot coal and ran away like a little bitch.

"But he is worried about you," Shorty adds.

Why the fuck should that matter? Why should I give one flying fuck about his feelings when he clearly didn't care about mine?

I should tell them to lie and say they don't know where I am. I should quit my job at the bar and run off to Mexico. I should stop loving him but I don't think I can, no matter how much I hate him.

Can you love and hate someone at the same time? Is that even a thing?

"Tell him I'm alive but don't tell him where we are," I finally decide. He shouldn't matter to me right now. I have a million other things on my plate. But, I can't help but picture him pacing in his room with that blank look on his face while his mind tricks him into believing the worst possible thing happened. No matter how much I hate him I can't put him through that.