The Fall of the Fainthearts

Chapter Twenty-Five: Don't Give Up On Me

Vince: Nobody knew how much our lives were going to change that day. If you would've told us even an hour earlier that the world was going to come crashing down on us, we would've laughed in your face.

Dahlia: I took everything for granted. I thought that we were all so untouchable. You never truly know what's around the corner, do you?

Axel: It was Jade.

Bentley: She wasn't acting right. I thought maybe it was the stress of planning the party, having to deal with Figgy, all the late nights to finish the album so quickly - maybe just the alcohol had gone to her head. She agreed it was hitting her a bit too quickly so she let me take her drink away but... it was too late.

She told me she didn't feel too good and she looked a million worlds away. I asked Vince to keep an eye on her while I went and got her a glass of water. I should never have turned my back, I might've... I might've been able to do something, I... fuck.

Vince: Bentley ran off to get her some water and before I knew it I just heard this crash as she fell into the pool. The first thought that went through my mind was, she's just drunk, she's having fun. Then I realised that there was something really, really wrong with her. I looked down into the water and she just looked lifeless. She'd passed out and she was going to drown.

Axel: Time just seemed to stop as everyone's brain worked overtime trying to figure out what was going on. Then people started to scream. I didn't think, then - I just sprung into action. I ran and threw myself into that pool before my mind even came up with an idea as to what was going on.

I think having Flo in such a vulnerable state at the time had me sharp. I just went in blind, it was like all my senses shut off and my one job was to protect. Time moved too slow and too fast at the same time. It moved too slow for me to do anything, but too fast for me to think straight.

Vince: When Axel threw himself in the pool it snapped me back to reality. I was standing there, staring helplessly at Jade in trouble and my feet wouldn't move. I remember having such vivid flashbacks to Axel's overdose. I couldn't be that guy to just stand there and watch it happen again. I couldn't be that pathetic again. So against every instinct in my body, I jumped in after Axel.

I don't know how I brought myself to do it. I was frozen in fear one minute, submerged the next. I think sometimes in a crisis you really surprise yourself on how much your mind just shuts down. It wasn't a matter of wondering what I could do to help, it was either I help or she dies. I'd already taken a risk on Axel's life once and I was not prepared to think I'd be lucky enough to get away with it this time, too.

Matt Haig: It's a terrible, terrible memory. The commotion was crazy, just hundreds of people reacting in sheer horror as they watched Jade's eyes roll back and body start to seize. She fell straight back into the pool faster than anyone could've been able to catch her. The second I realised what was going on I phoned an ambulance.

Bentley: People were screaming, shouting for help. I couldn't see but I knew it was for Jade. I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and it grew and grew with every new cry. She was in trouble. I knew that she hadn't looked right.

I don't think I've ever moved faster in my life back to that poolside. I had to get back to her.

Axel: She was just floating down to the bottom, arms hanging by her side like she hadn't even tried to break her fall. My whole body went cold. I knew she wasn't okay.

Vince: We both grabbed onto an arm each and swam her up to the surface. Axel took her from me as soon as we broke water and brought her to the edge where Kian and Bentley pulled her out.

Bentley: She was just limp. There was nothing left in her. I can't talk about it, sorry, I just can't do it.

Kian Cash: ... that was the night my world went dark.

Axel: Everyone else was just panicking and weeping and I was so fucking angry because nobody seemed to do anything. I don't know whether it was just the adrenaline or if everyone had just given up. There was no way I was going to give up on her. I couldn't just let her die.

Dahlia: Axel started to do CPR. I taught it to him after he overdosed. He asked me to, said that you never know when somebody might need you like he needed me that time... shit, man. Life's not fair.

Axel: I kept checking for a pulse, for a breath, trying to push the water out of her lungs. Nothing was working. She was slipping away from me and nothing was working.

Vince: He started crying. He kept saying, "Don't give up on me, Jade. Don't you dare fucking give up on me." Still cuts like a knife no matter how much time passes.

Dahlia: I remember putting my fingers to her neck and my whole body just sinking into itself. It felt like I'd swallowed a brick. Every ounce of hope just drained from my body in an instant.

Axel: Dahlia told me she was gone. I didn't want to believe her. I swore and shouted at her and told her she was being stupid but I knew in my heart she was right. I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want her to be gone. But it didn't matter what I wanted, that isn't how life works.

Bentley: So quickly... just a few hours earlier she was laughing, dancing, kissing me... she'd never get to do any those things again. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, over and over again until I was hollow. I still do, talking about it now. You never get over this sort of thing. It never gets easier, does it?

Axel: I just held her in my arms while everyone sobbed and stared in shock. Kian came over so badly they had to sit him down. I will never, ever get the sound of him crying out of my head. It haunts my nightmares to this day. I looked down at her face and despite all of the noise of the crowd, the ambulance siren in the distance and the music still booming away, all I could hear was him bawling out "My little girl, not my little girl".

I pictured Flo. I pictured our baby. Then, click, the sound of a camera shutter.