The Fall of the Fainthearts

Track Nineteen: If You Thought You Could Get Rid Of Me, You Can't

Axel: It was time to get back in the studio - we needed another album if we had any hope in keeping up with the demand.

Kian Cash: London Revival were gaining popularity like nothing I had seen before. Tickets were selling out, kids in the street were wearing their t-shirts, their songs were on every radio station. And they had one album. Seriously? They had some work to do if they wanted to be more than a one minute wonder.

Dahlia: It's funny how easily that album fell into place. For the first time, we actually worked on it together. We spent our days in the studio, joking and laughing and talking about memories from back in the days where we were barely getting by. Every now and then, one of us would say something that would trigger inspiration in Axel and we'd have to "shut the fuck up" while he wrote it down. Good times, man. Good times.

Bentley: We all just mucked around, riffing and playing each other's instruments. Vince and Dahlia were two peas in a pod. We all knew, of course. But they didn't know we knew. Does that make sense?

Vince: I told Bentley the night it happened. I probably shouldn't have done that. But Axel figured it out soon enough on his own anyway, so I convinced myself that he would've found out sooner or later, whether I'd said something or not.

Axel: It was that week we finished 'In The Back Of My Head'.

Matthew Haig (of The Haig Brothers): 'In The Back Of My Head'... what a tune. I still listen to that song to this very day. It was just so perfect, that dirty guitar riff and the way Dahlia's voice contrasted Axel's. It's like a beautiful, grungey, rock lullaby. There's no other way to describe it.

Kian Cash: It was a fantastic song. It really came from the soul. Every time Axel sung that song onstage it brought the house down. I'd say that other than 'Escape Me', that was their most integral and essential song in their whole discography. That song sold the record single-handedly, it just happened to help that the rest of the album was on par, too.

Axel: I wrote it mainly by myself while I was on the bus, but we polished it up and made it a single altogether. They all asked me what it was about, but I liked that people didn't really know. There were a lot of theories and I liked the speculation, it gave me a sense of privacy. I didn't get a lot of that anymore, so it was nice to have.

Dahlia: It was so frustrating trying to finish a song that you could only guess what it was about.

Vince: I always thought it was about his addiction problems. How 'no matter how far' he was from where he used to be, it'll never leave him. It'll 'always be a part of him'. I don't know.

Bentley: I thought it was about Florence and touring and being away from her. Yeah, it was surface level and obvious, but sometimes good songwriting is. Who wants to work out a riddle every time they hear a banging song? You just want to sing along and relate. And nearly everyone could relate to missing someone they loved, somewhere down the line.

Axel: I hated the fact that every good song I wrote was about her.

Figgy: It was very obvious to me that the song was about me.

Axel: It was like I couldn't write anything else. I felt like a sell-out, but when I sat down and tried to write about anything I was passionate about, it always came back to her.

Figgy: Whether he loved me or hated me, I made a good song. Almost every London Revival song has a bit of me in it, if you know to listen for it.

Axel: Jade always knew. I don't know whether she had a sixth sense for analysing lyrics after being surrounded by music her entire life, or whether she just knew me better than I thought she did. One day, she pulled me aside for a quick smoke break.

She told me, "It doesn't matter what the songs are about if you've healed from it. Have you healed, Axel?" The answer was no - but I wasn't sure whether I ever would. So much time had passed and she still crossed my mind every single day. Whether it was a good memory, or a terrible one, she was always fucking there. It was like I was addicted to the thought of her, like I enjoyed torturing myself with it.

I didn't want to be with Figgy, but I didn't want her away from me, either. I didn't care whether she moved on, but I did care if he was a prick. I had no clue why I was so hung up on her, but all I could do was channel it into my songwriting. So that's what I did; and it reached number one in less than a week.

I don't know whether Figgy knew that the song was about her. I don't know whether she even paid any attention to what I was doing, anymore. She could've just turned up on my doorstep on a whim, for all I know. It all happened so fast.

Figgy: I was a complete wreck. I was having a bad trip and I had nowhere to go. I couldn't remember where I'd even come from, and I was living at a friend's house at the time and had forgotten my key. I couldn't think straight. I was just wandering the streets in the dark and I could just about make out Axel's car in a driveway. My heart skipped a beat.

Axel: I've seen Figgy in some pretty bad ways, so it wasn't like it had shocked me when I opened the door to her. It was almost like I was expecting her. She was living in my head every day since the song released as I went over and over why I'd written it. I couldn't answer myself. I didn't want her around, but I missed her. How could I make any sense of that?

Figgy: It could've been anybody's car, it's not like I memorised the number plate. But something in me told me I needed him, and I took a gamble. Someone would answer that door, and all I could do was hope it was Axel. Either way, I was in pretty bad shape and I couldn't be alone.

Axel: I'm under no illusion that Figgy's stalking skills are next-level. No matter how much she tries to tell me that she found me on a complete accident, I know that isn't the case. But for some reason, it never made me uncomfortable. I wanted her to be able to find me.

Figgy: Seeing his face... I just broke down. I was in such a bad way. I didn't know what to do anymore.

Axel: She told me she needed help. She clung to me and cried and begged me to help her.

Florence: I just watched them from the end of the hallway. A lot of people ask me whether I felt threatened by her, but I knew that I had nothing to worry about. They were just two broken people who were trying to find their way in the world. And he was the only one who was ever there for her, no matter how much it hurt him inside to do it.

Figgy: I don't know why I said it, because I didn't mean it. Or maybe I did in that moment, then I changed my mind. I didn't want to change, I didn't want help. But I knew that's what I should want, and what would make him happy. So that's what I said.

Axel: I remember just holding her and staring into the darkness. She was always going to come back. She couldn't do it on her own. I had to save myself, and now I had to save her.