Love Me 'Till the Day I Die [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]

Chapter 18 - Unexpected

Maddi's POV

I'm not expecting any company today. But then again, I never am. I lay there on my hospital bed, staring at the ceiling blankly longing to get out. Wishing to be at home. Then I remember about my journal that I write my feelings down in. I'm not even really sure what I feel anymore, but maybe writing SOMETHING down will bring back sort of emotion. I take my journal out from under my pillow, where I always keep it, and begin to write the date, and anything else I could jot down:

I love him and I really do mean it. I love the way he speaks his mind and how open he is with his feelings. How he contains so much beauty, and he doesn't even seem to realize it. The way he is able to work his way through situations, just by considering the circumstances. I, on the contrary, have nothing. AM nothing. I'm not clever, smart, beautiful, or unique.

All traits of which he is composed of. I'm nothing but a sad teen who strives for what she wants, but always somehow ends up with failure. I'm just another lonely girl who has nothing to live for.

I shouldn't be with him, but I am anyway. I love him, and I always will. No matter how legal or illegal it may be.

And if you do some day find this journal, which I am planning on, here's a message for you:

I'm so lucky to have you, want you, and need you. Though I don't deserve you

I was stopped in the middle of my sentence by a muffled conversation going on near my door. One person who was talking sounded like a nurse, and the other was a voice I couldn't identify. From what I could hear, they were looking for my room. "Yeah, is this the one?"

"Yes this is , but you two are going to have to be very quiet. She won't want a lot of noise." The nurse whispered. She opened the door and in came two people. A girl and a guy, and she came in right behind them.

"Maddi... I don't know if you remember me but I'm Shawn" he said nervously

Shawn. Shawn Mendes, the boy I used to have a crush on throughout all of grade school. "Shawn... Oh my god. Of course I remember you! Come here!" I screeched and pulled him into a hug.

"haha! I'm glad you remember. I was so worried about you, I saw your story on the news and I freaked out." He said

"Well no worries, I'm fine now." I smiled. "Now, are you gonna introduce me to your friend here?" I asked, motioning toward a very pretty, fairly petite girl with brown hair, About shoulder length. She was standing there quietly, smiling at me. She had this beautiful smile that I would die for any day.

"Oh, This is Rachel. She's my girlfriend." He states easily. The nurse pauses and looks up to Shawn and Rachel. She steps away from the papers she was working with and says, "Um, Maddi, I'll be back in a minute. Call me in if you need anything." And shuts the door behind her. Just like that. "What's with her attitude?" Shawn asks. I didn't really want to tell him straight up if he didn't know already, but it WAS the right thing to do. "Shawn, she didn't exactly think you and Rachel were the ideal couple. You know, a boy and a girl." I explained

"What do you mean?"

Wow. This boy really wasn't getting it

"Rachel, we came here for a reason we can't just-" "No." I in. "She's right. It's not a good idea to be out here.

"I mean... You're heterosexual." I laid it out plain and simple. But Shawn began to laugh. "Isn't that normal? We're not SUPPOSED to be gay or anything like that.." He says. I hit him with a troubled and sympathetic look, and he finally got the message. "...Are we?"

"Shawn... Maybe we shouldn't be here..." Rachel said, seeming worried.

"Rachel, we came here for a reason, we can't just-"

"No." I chimed in. "She's right. It's not a good idea to be out here." I told them

"Shawn. Out here, if you're not a homosexual, people want nothing to do with you. I don't know how it is back home, but you're here now, and you can't just show everyone who you are. It's not safe. Believe me, I lived that nightmare." I stated grimly.

...

"We've loved having you here Maddi, and we're glad that you've gotten much better. You're all set and free to go!

Shawn and Rachel thanked me for the advice and left a while ago, and now I'm fully dressed and out of my hospital bed. There's a nurse that's telling me I'm okay to leave. I can finally go home! With the help of a taxi of course.

***

"I'm home!" I yell throughout the house.

"Oh! My baby is finally home!" Says momma A.

"I'm glad to be back" I smile

"What's that smell? Is that..."

"Yup! I'm cooking you some gumbo. Your favorite." She says.

"Thank you so much mom. Look, I'm gonna go up to my room and get comfy again. Love you!" I ran off upstairs. I wasn't going to my room though. My moms' room is way more comfortable than my own. Especially after the fact that I was going to kill myself because of what went on in there. So i ran into their room and hopped into their bed.

***

I just now realized that my parents' room is way more interesting now that I've come back from the hospital. It's probably because I've been gone for so long, but I wanna explore.

I feel like I'm invading their privacy more than "exploring" but it's been worth it so far. I found some necklaces and other jewelry in drawers. Under the bed are some old yearbooks. I've pretty much checked every nook and cranny of the room except one part; The third drawer in the night stand. I never really thought much of the thing, mostly because it's in such an awkward place. But I know there can only be one thing in there...

Not that I actually know what it is, the drawer is just so small that there legitimately isn't enough room to fit anything else.

I reach over to the side of the nightstand to where the drawer is and slowly pull it open. I didn't find a prized possession or anything...

Or at least it didn't look like one. As I slid open the door, a small, portable sized notebook appeared that looked like it hadn't been touched for years.