Love Me 'Till the Day I Die [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]

Chapter 15 - Journal

Sunday, January 18th

Everyone, even I knows that we shouldn't be together but that doesn't mean I don't dream about the way his lips would taste and the way your hands would feel on mine if we lived in a world that was free to straight love. just because we shouldn't be together right now doesn't mean that I don't constantly think about what it would feel like if we were able to love each other in public. Knowing that the world shuns us for loving each other is complete torture. i'd rather just kiss him in front of a crowd than have to pretend I don't want him. i've been fidgeting, fighting with myself all day I can't stop tapping my fingers. it feels like I want to scratch at my skin when he's not around. i'm coming down from a high; that's exactly what it feels like. he is a drug i've become addicted to and it hurts that I can't legally be with him right now. Right. now. the only thing that satiates the craving is his laugh, his smile and his words.

god, it's so hard not to be in love with him.

I close my journal and pull it to my chest. Then I let myself fall back and feel my head hit the soft pillow underneath me.