When it becomes real (Pablo Gavi)

Chapter 16

Gavi's POV

"You should tell her to come back".

"Why would I do that?"

But Mónica doesn't say more. She just goes back to get her bag and tries to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. I wouldn't want to interrupt any more of your dates. You know you don't need to lie, right? If you get them to sign the NDA, you can still see as many girls as you want".

This can't be happening.

"I'm not seeing any girls, Mónica".

"What was that about Instagram then? What games are you playing?"

I take a deep breath. Stupid Saúl got me into this mess.

"It's just Saúl. He knew my fans obsessed over who I followed and the photos I liked. So he didn't allow me to do it".

Her dry laugh tells me all I need to know about what she thinks of me right now.

"But that was before you. I haven't been with anyone since we started this".

"I don't care if you have or not".

"Yeah, clearly. You're not bothered at all".

When I try to get closer to her, she just pushes me away.

"We should have just stuck to what our managers had planned for us. My fault for being so stupid. Let's just go back to that".

"No! I don't want that!"

"And I didn't want to be hurt but I just was. We don't always get what we want".

I close my eyes, which are filling with tears, so I don't have to see her leaving.

I pick up my phone to see when our next "date" is and it's not for another 5 days. I can't go on that long without seeing her. Not when she has left like this.

**

I can't lie and say I didn't see this coming. When I met Mónica and knew we had to pretend for over a year, I expected us to get close at some point. There will be some tension and well, we would have to deal with it. But I expected that. A one time thing. Or a couple of times but I didn't want to feel anything for her. It was only going to make things messy.

And messy they are now. It's not even the kissing that's made me realize how I feel about her. It's the rest. Her hugging me when I lose a match, because she knows how hard I am on myself then. The way she touched my hair today when I put my head on her legs. God! I could have died a happy man if that was my last moment on Earth. And then I got to have her in my arms for so long. And it felt so right. Even if her constant moving was proving a bit challenging for me. But I get she doesn't even realize the effect she has on me. Or on any man. She really is that innocent.

But the way she kissed me back...that wasn't innocent. And her leaning on me while she played...she felt right at home there, just as I did. And now I fucked it all up.

I barely manage to sleep for a few hours, so I call Saúl to try to get some help.

"Why are you awake so early? You don't train until 4 today".

"I know, that's why I thought I could go see Mónica at the studio. Get some cute photos there maybe".

"No need. You have a date on Tuesday. And you were together yesterday. That's enough for this week".

Not enough for me.

"I mean, we don't have to post them now. But like, when the EP is out, she could post the throwbacks".

"Pablo, why do you want to go see her? What did you do?"

"Thanks for the show of faith".

"What did you do? Do I have to clean up any messes?"

I sigh, walking around the room trying to calm myself down.

"She thinks I'm seeing other girls".

"And? As long as you're careful that's ok. She can go out with other boys too".

Thanks for the reminder.

"I'm not seeing any girls".

"Good. Your point?"

"Jesus, Saúl. I don't want her thinking I'm seeing other girls. That's my point".

"But why do...oh. Of course. I should have seen this coming. I noticed you had changed around her but I didn't expect this".

"Yeah, well. Me neither".

Saúl stays silent for a second. He does this a lot when he's thinking.

"But wait, why would she think you're seeing other girls? You only see each other at the dates where Manu or I take you to, were you flirting with someone on those? Because that could get us in trouble if someone speaks to the press".

"No, I...".

"What have you done, Pablo?"

"We've been meeting without you two knowing".

"You what?"

"She was here yesterday with some of my teammates and then a girl I used to see showed up and...".

"You should have told me before".

"I didn't know what I was doing before. I didn't get why I needed to be with her so often until now".

"Until you lost her".

Yeah. Exactly that.

"And you want to go to the studio to do what? Annoy her more? That's her career. The reason why she's doing all of this".

"I want to talk to her and make her see she's wrong".

"And what? You want to do what? Date her for real while under this contract? You don't really get how messy that can get".

"Wouldn't that make things easier?"

"No, contracts are cold. Feelings are hot. This could all catch on fire at any time. Imagine you two break up for real and have to continue faking it. No, too risky. And...I don't know how far you two have gone but I would also prefer it if you two kept your hands to yourselves".

"You don't get to tell me how far I get to go with my girlfriend, Saúl".

"With a fake one, yes, I do. That's why we set boundaries. And hers was no kissing, which I'm going to assume you've broken already".

I want to tell him it was her that asked me to kiss her but it'll sound too much like an excuse. And I don't want to be talking about her personal stuff like that.

"Just tell me which studio she's at or I'll call all of them until I find out".

"I'll text you the address but if you mess up and she ends up breaking this contract, you'll be the one that gets the worst part. Publicly and personally. So do things at your own risk".

I already might have lost her. It's worth the risk.