Bade Acche Lagte Hain | MaNan

Shades of Nandini.

18th January, 1996.

In the dark emptiness of his subconscious, a frightening shriek of his name boomed - jolting him awake. That cry was unfamiliar.

Manik checked the time from the wrist watch kept under his pillow. It was close to two in the morning.

Breathing hard with every breathe that felt like an onus, he skirted his palm over his face that has turned icy yet he wasn't shivering. The coldness was familiar. His mother's body had also felt cold when he was trying to wake her up for her morning dose of the medicine. He was advised to not touch her, but he couldn't leave her alone. The only light keeping him alive didn't shine that morning with the sunrise. She hated those bitter medicines that were no longer working, yet she had them silently everyday for him, but that day - her fragile body gave up. She was cold and calm and serene. She was happy being gone away from the clutches of the worldly chaos and agony. She was free....

If only she could take him away with her.

No! He wasn't supposed to think like that. He wasn't a coward. Life was Almighty's beautiful gift and only 'She' had the right to take it back whenever destined. He had no right to throw it away. It's a sin. That was drilled in his heart and mind by his old man.

He was also taught to face life with his head held high. He wasn't going to disappoint his grandfather, mother and neither Parvati, who had given so much of her love selflessly to him, the love on which only Anil had the right and the latter had gladly shared his share of love with someone who's own father couldn't love him. Surely he wasn't born to be loved yet his grandparents and Anil were kind enough to care for a curse like him and love him like their own. He would never think to insult that love.

He extracted a round shaped gold pendant from his pocket that had a image of goddess 'Adi-shakti' mounted on a lion engraved on it. He clasped the pendant tightly in his fist and rested it close to his heart. It was the last gift his mother had given him on her birthday, on her last birthday. Perhaps she knew she didn't have much time.

He inhaled a sharp breath and stared at the pendant. He had never ran away, he wouldn't think like that now either, not when finally life appeared a beautiful journey.

Being reminded that he wasn't alone, he turned around on the bed and faced Nandini, the joy of his life.

She had hidden herself completely under the blanket. By the night came, the temperature outside had dropped a few more degrees. Gently, he removed the cover from her face and tucked it around her neck. Gingerly he swept the tendrils away from her face that shone as an epitome of tranquillity and innocence. Her chest rose up and down evenly and rhythmically as she slept like a baby, and as he concentrated harder on the movements, slowly he felt the heaviness disappearing from his own breaths. The affect was unbelievable and miraculous.

The desire to feel her warm breaths on his numb skin intensified, rousing goose bumps all over his skin. If he could just have her secure arms around him for sometime.

Detaching his gaze away from her peaceful face strenuously, he looked around the room through the thin mosquito net surrounding their bed. All the other beds were occupied but none of them were awake to catch him hugging his own wife.

With a triumphant giddiness, he quickly hid the pendant back in his pocket before facing Nandini again and slipped closer, gliding his arms around her stomach and pulling her flush against his body. He would just hold her for few minutes and then release her or she'd be embarrassed to wake up like that amidst the strangers.

Reflexively she twitched holding on his shirt in a fist and puffs of her warm breaths showered his neck. The tiny frowns on her forehead drew his attention and rising up a bit, he nuzzled his nose against the space between her brows and all the way to her forehead.