Bade Acche Lagte Hain | MaNan

Respect & Love.

Enraged and provoked by an unreasonable and avoidable contention, Manik walked into the terrace to cool himself down. Was the issue so important to bring it up in their private time? He was anticipating and looking forward to spend some quality time with her after so long. He regretted his arrangement of staying over at her place for more than required. They were so much better off in Lucknow, without her family impinging on them and influencing her behaviour.

Very few people he had met could speak their heart and mind with so much clarity and his wife marvelled that attribute with ingenuity. All of the unnecessary obedience was a facade. He could assess it all this while and disliked every word of it. What had they done to her and why did she feel the need to change herself? Is it because of the gifts or Shalini's remark ignited a fear inside her? He had been really judicious to not let Shalini's stridency affect their peace. How could she think he would insult her parents in any way? He couldn't place any reason to justify that thought.

Leaning forward on the railing he took deep breaths. He had given her enough chances to share her fears with him but she chose to lie? A habit he cannot digest. Why did she do that? Doesn't she trust him at all? The reality was sad and disappointing. If there is no trust in their relation, every endeavour to make it work would lead to a dead end. He felt like a failure. All the progress they did in these months was reduced to zero.

He stared up at the inky dome twinkling with bright stars. These stars fascinated him since his childhood. He wanted to touch them once but they are inaccessible, he realized it with time and they attracted him more. When his mother was gone, he searched and counted her among those stars. She was inaccessible too and dear to him.

There had been umpteen moments in his life when he had shared his torment, troubles and failure with them because they didn't need his words to understand his heart. He had conjectured and fancied his wife as his companion who wouldn't need his words to understand him, as well.

She appeared like that shining star, who much to his good luck is affable, understanding and within his reach. She had made him believe in the presence of the mystical love that never existed even in his fantasies, only to shatter his dream mercilessly. She couldn't trust him for once. Is he actually unworthy? What did he do to give her that impression?

Sighing heavily, he shut his eyes and their upsetting dispute reeled slowly in his mind. Disconcerted, he opened his eyes and raked both his hands in his hair, tugging them at their ends. With the realisation sinking in his mind, his heart was deluged with guilt for dealing so oppressively with her by proclaiming her to never return back to her maternal home, against her will. That was truly heartless for him to say and even think of.

Losing control over his anger, he had said something he never intended to, crucially, magnifying her agitation instead of soothing her nerves in times of distress. She had endured his sudden anger, had been so calm and succouring when he was anxious to even step inside a bank. That had been the biggest fear of his life but she didn't let him succumb to his weakness and had held his hand like a true partner.

This is the time when she is scared about something he doesn't know but needs his support and understanding. It was reckless of him to walk out, giving rise to a seed of mistrust in her heart. She wasn't entirely wrong. His anger could ruin any situation, undeliberately, the best example was the decision he imposed on her few minutes ago.

He had assured her about not being the one to suffer the pain of choosing sides when every person is equally treasured by her but he had himself hurt her harshly. He doesn't want her to change, that is the absolute truth and for that, he shouldn't have been the one disregarding her fears and emotions being blinded in his hurt.

Perhaps, her intentions were just to caution him about tomorrow and he had misjudged her, overwhelmed by the feeling of disappointment.

With a start, he realized that misjudgements have the power to creep in their relationship like a storm, blowing them apart, given they are standing at a beginning of an unexplored expedition of life that is everlasting. He was expecting too much from her within a short period of their marriage where leaving her hand and walking out shouldn't be a choice for him. The path had to be treaded carefully and wisely. It would certainly become a cake walk if she walks by his side, hand in hand.