WayFinder (The Fool's Journey)

Chapter 7: Decisions

The light in the shed had started to fade significantly. I wasn't sure just how long I meditated for, but some days I could get so lost in my own consciousness, exploring and learning. But this time I couldn’t afford to vanish completely.

Need to check the water.

My body protested the movement but it needed to be done. I didn't want us to be caught unaware. With an internal groan, I quietly pushed open the metal door and stepped out into the darkness; closing off the entrance behind me. The rain was but a drizzle and the wind was no longer blowing the trees to and fro. The night was silent as I made my way out to the submerged trail. The water had in fact risen, but not by much. It looked like we would be safe tonight. I stood on the gravel road for a second, imagining what the morning would look like. Would the water have moved out by then, leaving evidence of its destruction? Would it still be so quiet? The night offered me no answers.

I laughed as I gazed at the barely moonlit clouds above. The unknown was such a funny experience. It was the dimension where nothing and everything existed. Most people turned to the system and its predictability in an effort to outrun the idea of possibility. Simply because the system had convinced them that repetition was safest. There was no growth there, uncomfortable or otherwise. The unknown on the other hand, was just a blank canvas. It was true that anything could happen there. You would absolutely have to take risks. You would truly have to trust in your abilities. Most importantly, you would have to trust that Spirit set up your journey in a way that would teach you. Walking in the unknown meant accepting that bad things would happen, but also trusting that the good things that occurred would overwhelm the senses. I myself had questions, certainly. But I also knew that at some point the answers would reveal themselves; giving me the ‘Aha!’ moment of a lifetime. So whatever the morning offered, I would accept it. Every detail would be just as Source meant it to be, and that reminder was enough for me to keep moving forward into the unknown.

I walked slowly back to the shed as my mind's mental chatter settled. I enjoyed the feel of the cool rain on my face. Waves of light energy coursed through me as my feet crushed over the gravel rocks. I walked around the black car still parked on the path and quickly closed the distance between me and the shed. The freezing temperature put a bit more pep in my step.

It’s colder than a witches tit out here.

I smothered a laugh at the expression randomly popping into my head. It was something my father would say after he had moved our family to Oregon. I picked up on using the phrase after that and it never failed to make me laugh. I could just imagine a green saggy titty in the cold and it would send me into fits. My mom would curse at us both in her drunken speech and it just made us laugh harder. She had never liked that I was closer with my father then I was with her.

This was the first time in five years that she’d popped into my thoughts. I no longer held any animosity toward the woman that birthed me. Through my own healing, I had realized that she carried her own shadows. Her drinking and drug-use was her way of outrunning them. It didn’t excuse the bad environments she would drag us into, but it did make me more understanding of the human experience, including hers. But she was a stranger to me now and I’m sure that was for the best. 

I smiled as I stayed my hand from opening the warehouse door. Sometimes my musings had a way of making such unexpected turns. A simple phrase could connect me back to years worth of memories. I shrugged. Healing was just like that though. I would think that I had completely moved on from something just for it to reappear months or years later. I used to think I was doing something wrong when it happened, but now I understood that healing was not linear, it simply worked in cycles.

  My stomach growling brought my mind firmly back to the present. It had been a while since I'd eaten anything. The others were probably famished too. I quickly slipped back into the warm shed, closed the door against the cold, and sat down on my pallet. The slowly burning fire slightly warmed my freezing skin, so I was able to move without having chills from the cold rack my body.