boy meets boy ✪ lashton

22

unedited!! srry for mistakes

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"Luke" a wide smile was growing on my girlfriend's lips as she opened the door, her eyes landing on me. She didn't waste time before throwing her arms around my neck, keeping me close to her. "I've missed you so much" she breathed into my neck and it felt like I was pointing a gun against her back, ready to pull the trigger.

She was such an innocent and amazing person, and I was the total opposite. I was a horrible person and she didn't deserve this at all.

She stood on her tippy toes and placed her small hands on my cheeks, smiling big before leaning in to kiss me on my lips. It was light and not what I was used to. I was used to Ashton's lips and this was nothing like it.

It didn't feel bad in that way, it felt bad because I felt so fucking guilty.

"Luke, what's wrong?" Sarah asked softly as she pulled away from me after I never wrapped my arms around her, nor did I kiss back. She could probably see the look on my face and she frowned.

I looked at her face, her pretty face. She was a small delicate girl. Her hair was tossed to the side and her usual tan skin was even tanner after her trip. She was wearing a big t-shirt as a dress, looking so soft.

"I need to talk to you" I croaked out, feeling my breathing starting to shake.

Sarah frowned slightly, her mouth opening a bit as if she was trying to say something, but nothing came out. I think she new how this talk was about to go down bad, because the small pools in my eyes were visible.

"Wha-" she started and took a deep breath, "What is it?" she whispered, looking sad already and it broke my heart.

"Can we, like, sit down?" I spoke carefully, but still taking control because I just wanted to get this over with. I think I understood just what Michael had been talking about, I finally understood just how hard this will be.

"I— Okay, yeah" She let me inside, leading me to the living room. I looked around, taking in the not so familiar house. I hadn't been here very much, about three times, maybe four, I don't remember.

She sat down on the couch and I did the same, the silence surrounding us both. No one said anything for a while and I know it was supposed to be me who should talk, but I just couldn't get the words out of me.

"I already know you want to break up with me, Luke, just get it over with please. Make that cheesy speech and then just leave and let me cry" she spoke up suddenly, her voice fragile and shaking slightly at the end. I turned my head to look at her, sympathy and sadness written all over my face.

"It's not like that" I forced out, seeing how she looked at me with a small hopeful glint in her eye.

"Then what is it?" she asked, looking at me.

"I—" I said and moved closer to her, taking her hands in mine, before averting my gaze down to look at them. "I'm sorry that I have probably been the worst boyfriend ever, and I probably will be even worse after this, but please let me talk and don't interrupt"

She nodded but looked terrified. I didn't blame her, because I probably looked the same.

I took a deep breath before taking matters into hand.

"This last year, I've been feeling so lost. Actually, I've been feeling lost my whole life, but this year has been a hell. I didn't know what was wrong with me and I practically hated myself. But then I found you, and you made me happy, you really did. Even though I may not have showed you that enough, you were a real help in my life"