Handplates!Gaster x female!reader|| Giving a Piece of Me

The Talk

3 years later..

Being a creator was Gaster's passion as you learned over the years and he always presented new ideas and research results to Asgore and Toriel, visiting the now almost finished building quite often. The settlement that the monsters had created was called "Home" and everyone was content with living in those stoney halls. It wasn't the most ideal living situation, but Gaster somehow made it always work with his ideas. Meanwhile you were starting to learn about Gaster's language. Over time you got better and better and the things that Gaster explained to Toriel and Asgore became easier to translate with every new visit he gave them.

He was still cold towards you and you could clearly feel his resentment but sometimes he got so lost in his ideas and presentations that he didn't mind when you asked him questions and he eagerly answered them as well.

It seemed like he forgot for the moment who he was actually talking to in these moments.

You were sitting at a table with him at the moment, going through the different letters again and signing them to yourself, since your signs were still somewhat clunky. Gaster was busy, scribbling down ideas and drafts for his structures. With his innovative ideas, Gaster managed to utilize lots of the underground's resources and what was once just an unlivable underground space, turned into a place with purpose.

You snapped out of your thoughts, as you heard Gaster clear his throat and you turned your attention to him. He had a somewhat flustered expression on his face and fiddled with his fingers, as his floating hands started signing.

'You are doing that sign wrong. Try it like this instead.'

He slowly showed you the correct signs for the words, you were trying and mimicked it. You looked at him and he nodded in approval: "Thank you, Gaster."

He quickly looked back down on his paper, not looking at you again but his magic hands signed 'You're welcome.'

Maybe he was somewhat warming up to you afterall.

.

.

.

Gaster just finished another of his presentations and packed up his things to leave.

"Gaster.", you said and he instantly froze. You slowly approached him.

"Please...", you said softly. "Turn around."

His shoulders sank and you watched him slowly turn around. You tried to meet his gaze, but he was constantly avoiding your looks. The room was empty and soft light shone through the windows. The sweet scent of tea still lingered in the air.

"I am just trying to understand. I want to know why you resent me so much." His eye widened in both surprise and shock, and he started trembling slightly.

His gaze fell down to the floor and his floating hands started to sign slowly:

'You...are...a human...'

Yes, you knew that much already. You felt this kind of resentment for all these years now. But you wanted to know his reason to hate you. You waited a few moments, hoping he would still explain further but nothing came.

You turned around and went to leave but a hand grabbed your wrist. You turned around in surprise and watched Gaster continue signing.

'I am supposed to hate you. When I see you, it reminds me of them and what they did to me and everyone else. It makes me boil inside.'

You took in a shaky breath, trying to ready yourself for whatever would come next.

'I want to hate you. But...I can't. At first, I was enraged of you being down here with us. You disgusted me to the bone. But as time passed, I found myself reflecting a lot of things and my anger faded. At first, it was hard to accept but the more you interacted with me, the better I felt about being around you. The truth is, none of this is your fault. You had nothing to do with it and were just as much of a victim than everyone else is. You even saved me that day.'

You remained entirely silent as he continued: 'You saved me and I didn't even have the courage to thank you for it. In fact, I hated that a human had the audacity to save me after everything other humans have done to me. I thought it was wrong. But because of me, you also got hurt. I didn't want to make things worse. I guess it was selfish.'

"You are not selfish-"

'I am selfish...you don't understand.'

"Then please, help me understand...", you said and sat him down, taking a seat next to him as well. He sighed and adjusted his glasses.

'I hate thinking about it and I hate even more talking about it but I killed my family. I killed my parents and brothers and friends because I refused to fight. I could have done something to stop this. I could have saved them.'

He turned away a little and started shaking.

'I couldn't do what was asked of me because I thought I could do things in a different way. But of course, I only started acting when everything was too late already. I only...killed...to save myself in the end!'

You did not know about this. In fact, he always remained silent about that day, when you met him and what happened before. Until now.

'Even you had to protect me and pay the price for it. I am to blame.', he continued, and his posture became smaller.

"You are not to blame, Gaster...", you said and placed a hand on his back as an attempt to comfort him. He flinched slightly but relaxed again quickly.

"Your family would be happy to see you alive. And I am also happy that I got to save you. I wouldn't have done it any differently." Gaster remained silent.

You hesitated to say anything: "I had to watch my family die as well..."

Gaster turned to look at you, a hurting expression on his face. "Humans found us and thought I was one of them and my parents took me hostage...so they attacked. That one I can really be blamed for. Before I could react, it was already too late. I didn't even really understand what was going on most of the time. It's like a big blur of loud voices and screaming and... pain."

'I am sorry...', he signed and both of you remained silent. 'And I am sorry for what I did to you back then on the training grounds. I was blinded by rage and almost killed you. But when I looked into your eyes, I saw myself and I just couldn't- I- I am a horrible being - I- '

You shushed Gaster before he fell too deep into the rabbit hole and nudged his shoulder gently.

"It's okay. I forgive you. I understand how you felt and I see your pain. I am happy I finally really got to talk to you, honestly.", you said.

Gaster sighed again: 'It felt good to talk about it. I feel like I finally released some of that pain that I bottled up inside me a long time ago. Honestly, I feel like I mostly just tried to ignore it all by burying myself in work and all these projects.'

"I am glad talking about it made you feel at least a little better...and if it helps, I am here for you."

'Thank you. (Y/N)...'

You stood up again and held out your hand, smiling: "Friends?"

Gaster scanned your hand sheepishly and hesitantly shook it: 'Friends.'