If Only- A Tere Bin Story

CONTEXT: (Meerasim consummated their marriage long before the dreaded episode 47and this is how)

The night Murtasim told Meerab about his long lost desire to pursue wildlife photography as his career and that he wanted to live a life free from all the responsibilities of being a feudal lord and the 'Janasheen' of the gaddi, Meerab had melted for him. The fact that he had given up all he ever desired for the sake of family and assumed responsibility towards his khandaan and his people after his father's death made her connect to him on a deeper level, it's almost like she can feel his pain within herself. She, at that moment, understood how Murtasim had to grow up untimely and unwillingly; much like herself when the secret of her parentage was revealed to her and she was forced to marry Murtasim. She too, very reluctantly and resentfully, left her life behind and acquired a new one she never wanted. 

Murtasim declared his love for her once again that night and pleaded her to take care them and their relationship. This time it touched her.

Her eyes were tearing up and yet she was unable to form words in her mouth. She wanted to tell him she knows how it feels like to be made to give up your dreams and plans but all she could do is cry silently. However, what she did not realize is that Murtasim is feeling everything she is feeling in her as his heart is a mirror to her soul. Murtasim raised one hand to gently wipe away her tears and gently caressed her cheek. His touch was soft but had an explosive effect on Meerab. She lost her battle with her heart and broke down right then. Meerab crashed her head into Murtasim's chest and started crying uncontrollably. 

Murtasim In an attempt to calm her down hugged her, engulfing her completely into his embrace, but Meerab is inconsolable. He was now stroking her back softly. Unequipped for handling the situation, Murtasim starts saying,

"Meerab, it's okay.....don't cry please". he was making an effort to calm her down. He was a bit taken aback by her reaction. Trying to redirect this conversation away from the meltdown, he quipped,

"Really, it's not a big deal. I can still click photos of wild animals like, for example, there is one wild cat in my arms right now who refuses to budge." Murtasim teased

"I would really like to photograph her" he said with a smirk and Meerab giggled weakly, aware of her position rightnow,  she cautiously pulled herself away from him.

Meerab, now out of his embrace, was acting sheepishly realizing that this was their first-ever hug and SHE initiated it. But then she thought, it's HER contract that was keeping them apart so it's only fair. Speaking of the contract-Damn That Contract! she cursed silently.

Murtasim felt her uneasiness and contemplated the idea of teasing her but then dropped it since she was already too emotional.

"it's too late. Let's go to our room...... then you may set my bed" he added as an afterthought.

Meerab was looking at him strangely. Murtasim can not figure out what had changed but something had and her eyes were indicative of that. Murtasim nods towards their room and gently holds Meerab's hand pulling her towards their bedroom.

In that small walk from their lounge to their bedroom, Meerab had gone through several emotions. From sorrow for both of them to understanding of both their plights and finally, to the recognition of the love that had been cultivating between them for months. Out of all the emotions, the realization of love hit her the most, it froze her.

Just at the entrance of their room Meerab took a halt stopping Murtasim in his tracks too. He turns around to look at her while Meerab frees her hand from Murtasim's hold only to bring both her hand up in front of him, both palms lightly fisted as if offering her surrender. Her eyes tearing up again.

"Meerab, What....." MUrtasim uttered in bewilderment.

"Tumne kaha tha hal alag hony mai nahi bulkay apnaye rakhny mai hai, dosray ko apni muhabbat main giriftar karne mai hai takay wo khud to apkay hawaly kardy" (you once said, the solution is not in separation but in union and keeping one in the bondage of love so that one will surrender). Meerab was repeating Murtasims words from the night he brought her back home after returning home from the hospital, post-accident. Meerab's voice was barely a whisper.

"What?" Murtasim is still clueless and utterly adorable Meerab thought.

"Murtasim,.......... kardia tumharay hawaly" (Murtasim......., I have surrendered to you)Meerab said softly, eyes full of tears.

Now the realization is drawing on Murtasim. Her words, her gesture, what all these meant. He didn't want to assume anything but his head is spinning and his heart is going a thousand miles.

"Meerab,....?" Murtasim's voice was a mixture of excitement and hope. His eyes searched hers for an answer and yet, he didn't make any move.

 Meerab feeling disappointed at his lack of reaction whispered to herself,

"So,  it is a rejection?"

She slowly started to withdraw her hands when they were suddenly captured by very firm hands which stilled her in her motion. The impact of his hold was so fierce that it made Meerab look up into his face and found his eyes to be gleaming with desire yet pleading.

"hargiz kadam peechhay mat hatana is baar" (Don't you dare take a step back this time) Murtasim said almost threatingly.

"Nahi hataongi, wesy bhi mera har raasta tumse hi ja milta hai. Is liye ab mujhy kahi nahi jana" (I wont back away, all my paths leads to you anyway. So now I don't want to go anywhere) Meerab said in an earnest voice her expressions as if she is speaking a Universal truth or something, like she's telling him that plants give off Oxygen.

Murtasim always admired Meerabs's honesty and that is exactly what he is getting right now and it filled his heart with so much warmth that he felt he would die. But, along with warmth came longing and waves of passion. All those desires he had kept bottled up for all these months came rushing out on the surface. The emotion was overwhelming, it was dizzying.

"Wo contract?" Murtasim is barely containing himself now

"Should I burn it or will you do the honors?" Meerab said rolling her eyes.

"Oh...that will be my pleasure" Murtasim responded with a flash of smile as he scooped Meerab up in his arms and enters his room kicking the door shut. A gasp left Meerab's mouth.

That night was their night of culmination. That night Meerab trusted Murtasim's every declaration of love, reciprocated every claim of ownership and gave in to his every demand of passion. That was the night of the Union....Their union of body and soul.

***********************************************************************************************So, it's the first part. Tell me how you like it. Feedback is appreciated

PS: I won't be writing much of  a "mature content" so sorry for the disappointment. Also, it's not going to be lovey dovey only so be prepared for the separation and all that :)