If Only- A Tere Bin Story

We Only Love Once

Murtasim's words reverberated in her head for the rest of the day, I am not capable of doing casual with you Meerab. She was taken aback at his words but later realized that this has always been the essence of their relationship, intense and all consuming but never.....never casual.

She was packing her bags for their return to Karachi and then went to Waqas to give him his medicine dose. She quietly gave him his medicines and then handed over a glass of water. Waqas took his pills while eyeing Meerab cautiously.

"Is everything alright Meerab?" Waqas inquired

"Yes....I am just tired Baba." Replied Meerab and then added softly "Tired of everything"

Waqas sighed and felt her sadness within him. He also felt deflated as his plan seemed to have failed.

"I have already given instruction to my assistant, we'll start your case as soon as we get back to Karachi." Waqas told Meerab making her come out of her thoughts.

"What...?" Meerab suddenly blurted out.

"Your divorce case. You said you wanted me to deal with it. Don't you worry Beta, we'll get that done as soon as possible."

Waqas's words were like hammer strikes on her head. Meerab found herself speechless. She had a sudden overwhelming urge to cry, though she didn't know why because this is what she wanted. This was her decision.

All she could manage was a little nod as she quickly took her leave from Waqas's room before the tears started falling.

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It was about 10 O'clock in the night when Meerab was sitting on the terrace of Anwer's portion of Haveli, lost in thoughts while staring up at the stars, and felt someone drop on the chair next to hers. For some reason, she thought it was Murtasim and almost jumped sideways to see the person.

Meerab saw Anwer sitting next to her and felt disappointed but said "AssallamOAlaikum!"

"WalainkumSalaam." Anwer replied registering her disappointment but not taking offence.

"Yahan kyu bethi ho akaili?" (Why are sitting here alone?) Anwer probed Meerab

"Karnay ko kuch  hai nahi." (I don't have anything to do) Meerab replied simply.

"Hmmmm.....Meerab I wanted to talk to you." Anwer started and Meerab look at him.

"First of all....Sorry! for everything. I know it's a small word for what I have done but I need to start from somewhere" Anwer said looking at Meerab and when she didn't say anything he continued.

"Meerab, I want you to know that I am with you, in whatever decision you take I'll stand by you. Waqas has done a great job in bringing you up, you are such a confident, sensible girl. I know if you take a decision you have a reason for it and I trust you!" Anwer wanted to get all that he kept inside out because he didn't know if she'll ever give him this chance again.

"Thanks. It means alot." Meerab said and realized she actually meant it.

Anwer beamed at her words and tears welled up in his eyes.

"You know Meerab, even though you are Waqas's daughter more than you can ever be mine, you have The blood of the Khans. I can clearly see the family traits in you....Your untamed spirit, your stubbornness and your strong-headedness scream KHAN" he took a pause to contemplate his next words and then spoke,

"But these are just traits Meerab...you know what is our fatal flaw?" 

"What?" Meerab said now fully intrigued.

"We only love once Meerab" was Anwer's reply which hit Meerab like a bullet.

"I know because I could never love anyone after Nazia, not even you. Which will be my greatest regret till the day I die." ......"But that's a fact Meerab, our love is unyielding, never dying, all-consuming kind." Anwer was saying as he saw Meerab's expressions change from curiosity to understanding and he continued....

"This is my truth. I know this is Murtasim's truth too......And yours." He concluded as one tear left Meerab's eye and rolled down her face.

With this Anwer stood up put one hand on Meerab's head affectionately and then leaned down to kiss her crown as tears left his eyes too.

"Please Beta, choose your happiness," Anwer whispered very quietly before he left.

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Meerab's head was now spinning. Murtasim's words, Waqas's words and then Anwers's words all were echoing in her head repeatedly making so much noise she thought her head would explode. The thought of leaving Murtasim forever was adding to the pain which was now physical. Meerab pressed her temples with her palms and tightly closed her eyes to stop the noises but no...it was not working.

Meerab dropped down on the floor and cried. She didn't know what to do or how to stop feeling so much. Anwer's words did one thing and that was....they made it clear to her that she was only going to get one chance at love and she had had it. 

"What am I going to do?" a choked voice left her mouth.

Divorce was my decision and Murtasim merely agreed to it, so if I take that decision back would Murtasim also agree to that as well? She didn't know....But she had to figure out even if it meant putting her ego on the line.

With a sudden gush of Determination, she stood up and ran...and ran... and ran towards Murtasim's room.

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Murtasim was twisting and turning on his sofa. His last conversation with Meerab kept him awake and unsettled. The thought of her leaving in the morning, away from his house and his life was making him miserable. Murtasim Khan had once declared to Meerab that he could only fall in love once, Meerab probably never believed him but for him, there was no bigger truth.

Losing Meerab was like losing a vital organ from his body, he might survive but life could never be the same. The acute ache in his heart was so vivid he felt like his heart would stop working any moment. 

He had agreed to Meerab's demand of divorce and now he couldn't back off. Or could he? Of course he couldn't he is a Khan but.....He can at least try to talk her out of it once more. He would swallow his pride and beg her if he had to but he will not let her leave without one last try.

With this thought in his mind, Murtasim stood up and took steady determined steps towards the exit of his room but stopped as the door flung open shocking Murtasim and bringing in a very panic-stricken Meerab who breathlessly said,

"It's an emergency"

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