If Only- A Tere Bin Story

The point of no return

Meerab walked across the lawn towards Murtasim, her heart racing and her smile breaking. She had rehearsed this conversation with him several times in her head and felt ready to go through it now. She went to stand close to Murtasim and gently tapped on his shoulder.

"Haya...." an exasperated voice left Murtasim's mouth as he turned around and Meerab stilled.

And a wave of disappointment ran through her as she kept her eyes on her husband for a few seconds and then said, "Sorry, I think you were waiting for someone else. Shouldn't have bothered you"

Murtasim was mesmerized by Meerab's beauty for a couple of seconds but was jerked back to reality at Meerab's accusatory tone. Is she serious? He thought.

"Oh, You came alone? Where is Rohail?" he gave back.

"You're right, I should have tagged him along..." Meerab was in no mood to have his BS.

Murtasim's anger sprouted again and he said, "I don't think he is in a condition to go anywhere?"

"What do you mean?.... What did you do Murtasim?" Meerab was now worried 

Murtasim stayed quiet. Meerab kept on looking at him, waiting for an answer as a kid ran into her spilling all his orange juice on her dress. "Ah-ah" she exclaimed in surprise. Oh, I'll have to wash it immediately or it'll leave a stain. Murtasim was watching all this playing out in front of him, his expressions passive.

Meerab gave one disappointed glance towards Murtasim and then went inside to get her dress fixed. She was hardly out of site when another kid came running to Murtasim and gave him a paper chit which said,

Please come to our room- Meerab

Murtasim was surprised at this. But she was just here. Had she planned all that? What was she playing at? Murtasim was reasoning in his head as he walked away from the site of the wedding, towards his living area.

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Murtasim went inside his room, it was dark. The only light coming into the room was the decorative chilli lights hanging outside in the garden. Just as he was trying to make sense of all this, someone from behind came and gave him a tight hug from the back. For a moment he thought it was Meerab and his heart swelled. But, the next moment he felt something wasn't right and then everything happened in a flash.

He tried to get himself free from the hold just as the lights of the room came on and he came to realize that the one hugging him was Haya and not only that the one who switched the lights on was......Meerab.

"Murtasim..." her voice whisper like, her face stormy.

"Meerab, please don't misunderstand, this isn't...." But Meerab was shaking her head and already backing away. Murtasim shrugged Haya away and came towards Meerab.

"I don't know what's happening here, but I only came here because you send me a chit."

"I did no such thing Murtasim..." Said Meerab

"WEll, someone did...." He was now glaring at Haya "What the hell is this?" he shouted at her.

"Don't shout at her." Meerab said dangerously. "You are not a kid and neither am I, so stop making lame excuses." Meerab felt like dying and at the same time wanted to kill Murtasim.

"Get out of here, disappear if you want to stay alive.." Murtasim hissed to Haya and she ran away knowing she had already done the damage she intended.

Meerab's head was spinning, her eyes watering and face distorted, "You....you lying cheat" she said in a strained voice. "So, this is why you dropped me off to Karachi at the drop of a hat..." Meerab was saying more to herself than to him. Her abandonment issues resurfacing. Her trust issues getting a grip on her thought process.

"Meerab...." Murtasim tried to get her out of her trance.

"Of course, you never bothered with finding out the truth of Marium's elopement because why would you? You had the chance to get rid of me and you did..." Meerab is getting on and on

"Stop speaking nonsense Meerab..." Murtasim said in disbelief.

"...and you questioned my character, only because you saw me sitting with a friend in a public place while here you were hugging your cousin in your darkened bedroom....." she is hysterical now.

"Meerab!" Murtasim yelled to get her attention, "All this is a misunderstanding....Please trust me." he was pleading.

"Trust you?" she let out...." did you trust me when you saw me with Rohail in his apartment? ....You asked me to jump off the roof to prove my innocence," she yelled the last part out.

"You know what Murtasim, Rohail is better than you because he at least apologized for what he did.....you never did"

Murtasim's anger rose at being compared to Rohail and not just that being scored less than him.

"Well great.....all this drama so that you  could justify your own relationship with Rohail." Murtasim hit back. The hurt male ego is not letting him think straight.

"My relationship with Rohail?........Murtasim, stop deflecting, I caught you hugging Haya in your bedroom." she was shouting now with no inhibition.

"And I caught you with Rohail in his apartment alone...Meerab, I still didn't leave you, any other man would have" he was shouting back. Thankfully the loud music of the wedding function outside and their own secluded portion allow them to not be heard.

"Yes, you kept me....because then it was never about me..." Meerab was back in her trance speaking to herself more than him.

"IT was about your ego which couldn't bear a woman rejecting your advances....it was the thrill of the chase" she was completing a puzzle in her head. " and as soon as I lowered my guards and let you in....as soon as I gave in to you, the thrill ended" said Meerab, putting the last piece of the puzzle in place.

"You are mad Meerab....you're just making up stories now." Murtasim caught himself gaslighting Meerab and stopped.

"I hate you....and I hate myself for loving you even for a day." Meerab was now looking at him straight and hissing each word. "I want to cleanse myself of your touch, your embrace and I want to wash your existence away from my life." 

Her words hit Murtasim like bullets. He was hurt and in pain and for whatever maddening reason he wanted to hurt her back..." well then, why don't you do it...go! you are free"

"Go!..." he yelled as he slightly pushed Meerab, and she pushed him back

"I will...." she shouted back

THey stood there staring at each other for a couple of seconds with bloodshot eyes to catch their breaths and then Murtasim left the room in long hasty strides while Meerab collapsed to the ground and cried.

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