It's All Good Love||Thomas Brodie Sangster x Y/N Poulter

Part 19

⚠️!TW! Self-harm, self-starvation, blood, body negativity⚠️

*Y/N's POV*

I sob into my hands. I felt hopeless and alone. I know I have Tommy and all my lovely friends but I felt like such a burden to them. Whenever I would talk with them I felt as if I was annoying them. I feel like I'm just being brushed off whenever someone says they have to go. I don't know if I'm overthinking it but I feel horrible, I really do.

I look in the mirror and all I see is a freak. It's like I don't even see a face, I only see my insecurities and flaws. My eyes would immediately go to my waist or my thighs and my heart would drop into my stomach.

Sometimes I feel like giving up, I really do but Thomas reminds me of how beautiful I am every day but I don't feel beautiful, not at all. I feel ugly and annoying.

If I stop talking, no one notices. Thomas does though, that's why I love him so dearly. Marvin wouldn't care, he would ignore me and bring me down. Maybe he is the reason for all my insecurities. Maybe, just maybe.

"Love? Are you going to come down to eat?" Thomas calls from outside my bedroom. 

"Umm... I already ate!" I lie.

"Oh ok!" Thomas shouts and I hear him leave.

It's been two whole weeks since I've eaten. No one has noticed, not a single person. I lie every time and get away with it. I don't want someone to notice but at the same time, I want someone to see how much pain I'm in.

I cry into my hands even more until my eyes physically hurt. I get up and walk into my bathroom and look in the mirror.

I see nothing, I see no one but a failure and a burden.

I open the top drawer and there sits a blade. I stare at it for a second as salty tears roll down my cheeks.

*Will's POV*

I look up at Thomas confused.  "Where is Y/N?" I question. 

"She said she already ate," Thomas shrugged and sat down. 

My eyes widen. "I'll be back," I say before I stand up and bolt up the stairs.

I stumble into Y/N's room and I see the room empty. But then I see light coming from underneath Y/N's bathroom and my eyes widen even more. 

I go to open it but it's locked.

"Y/N open the door," I demand.

"G-go away Will!" She shouts back.

"Y/N OPEN THE GOSH DARN DOOR!" I scream and turn the door knob a few times but the door never clicks open. 

Thomas storms into the room. "What the hell is going on?!" He shouts.

I don't have to say anything and his eyes widen and he gently pushes me out of the way. 

"Love open the door please, please love," Thomas says in a gentle voice and the door clicks.

Thomas and I enter the bathroom to find blood droplets scattered everywhere and Y/N sitting on the floor, a bloody blade beside her. She was only in shorts and a bra but both Thomas and I didn't care, we only cared about the cuts along her arms.

"Oh Y/N, what have you done to yourself?" Thomas whispers as he carefully examines her arms, running his thumb over each line in her skin. 

*Y/N's POV*

"I can't take it anymore Tommy, I can't. I wanna give up," I whisper and Thomas shakes his head. 

"Y/N, you are so strong and I'm so proud of you, just please don't hurt yourself," Thomas replies, his voice was so soft and so soothing.

Will sat down beside me and I was scared he was mad but instead, he took my arm out of Thomas's grip and examined the lines I had made in my skin.

"Can you promise me that the next time you wanna do this, you'll come to me or Thomas?" Will questions.

"Y-yes," I reply and Thomas kisses my forehead. 

"Thank you, and I'm very proud of you. Now let's get you washed up," Thomas says with his comforting smile playing on his lips.