Only wanna be with you

28

We took a car to my hotel suite at Disney so we could meet the family and so I could get changed. There's nothing like wearing men's clothes while getting papped to say your doing the walk of shame. Not that I had any shame in the matter. Just not a good look if we where spotted together for the first time and this didn't progress into something. I would definitely look like a hoe.

The kids where ridiculously excited to be going to Disney with the one and only Jack Harlow. They where a little star struck when he first walked in. He stayed chatting to them while I changed quickly. Greg and Jenny appeared at my door with knowing looks on their faces.

"Don't look at me like that" I groaned

"What?! I'm just happy you didn't run off to him" he seemed to stare me down

"That's done, I'm done. He actually called Jacks phone last night to see if I was there! Can you believe it?!" I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, not wanting to spend too much time getting ready.

"Yes, I can believe it. He's got an obsession with you" he said quite matter of factly

"Pffft, he just likes his own way. Well it stops now. I caught the call luckily and told him to back off. I don't want to get Jack messed up in all of that" I slung my bag over my shoulder and popped some ears on my head

"He won't let you go without a fight, be careful"

——————

I was banned from coming to any other shows from then on. Well on that tour specifically. He didn't want me around Justin again. Didn't trust us together. Not that we where even together. He had Ash. Me and Justin only ever saw each other at events after that. We flirted but it was never the same. I had a feeling he knew that Austin didn't want me around him. He never questioned it and was still as pleasant as always just not as flirty as we once was.

Our meetings where as sporadic as usual and I was happy with that or so I thought. We had seen each other just not in that capacity. There seemed to be a party every night when we where in LA. If I wasn't out touring or writing we where at some club or house party. There was always drinks flowing and drugs available everywhere we went. At any time of day. I had started to lose a bit of weight not looking after myself. Drinking and taking drugs too much and not eating right. Gregg was concerned. I was only having a few hours sleep a day because we where always busy doing something. I slept better on tour.

I felt like I was floating. Too much drink and drugs at this house party at Austin's. Id come outside to get some fresh air, thinking it may help me to come down from the high. Hopefully sober me up a little. I hadn't noticed the small group outside having a smoke. Ash came up draping her arms around me, she was as high as me. This felt kinda awkward. We where friendly but we weren't friends.

"You know he won't ever be with you right?" She slurred

"What?!" I was taken back by her comment. Did she know about us?

"I know you love him. I can tell. But he wants to eventually settle down and have kids and you can't give that him" she said it very matter of factly. No remorse in her voice just rolled right off the tongue. "He told me about what happened" I froze wondering what he has told her about us. Was this going to turn into a fight. We where both too fucked up for that. "About your accident. You can't give him what he wants" my heart shattered into millions of pieces. I knew what she was getting at. I knew what he had told her. Told her something so personal. I felt like I was going to be sick. I couldn't believe he would just talk about things like that with her, without my permission. "Do yourself a favour and move on" I couldn't speak, the words weren't forming. My head was spinning and I needed to get out of here. Get away from her. Get away from him.

I started to stand up, swaying. Trying to tangle myself out of her arms as she just looked at me with the look of pity on her face. I was embarrassed, humiliated, angry and distraught all at the same time. I started to hyperventilate, panicked I needed to get as far away from her as possible. I saw Austin looking over concerned, his brow furrowed as he looked between me and Ash. I couldn't look at either of them. I stumbled back into the house grabbing a ice cold bottle of water, chugging it down as I reached the bathroom. The door was ajar so I just walked in. I let out a yelp as I realised that the bathroom was occupied. I apologised profusely and tried to back up, walking into the door backwards and losing my balance. Luckily the occupant had good reflexes as he caught me before I hit the ground. At that moment I burst into tears. Everything overwhelming me. I was lifted to sit on the counter and fetched some tissue. They even tried to clean me up some.

"I'm so sorry. I'm just having a bad night" I sobbed into my now soaked tissue

"No worries, can I help at all?" I look up to realise that it was MGK I had just fell apart on.