Only wanna be with you

35

After actually showering we got ourselves ready for the appearance. Jack watched me practically the whole time. I wasn't used to all this attention. I could see him just patiently waiting for me. Chatting to me when he knew I wasn't busy concentrating. It was nice, domestic. I didn't feel like he was rushing me or rushing to get away from me. When I was finally ready he just looked at me with awe.

"You look beautiful, stunning, amazing, breathtaking. All the things... I'm the luckiest guy in the universe " he kisses me softly on the temple, trying to not mess up the painstakingly crafted hair and makeup I had just done.

"I'm the lucky one. You look extremely handsome tonight. I kinda don't want to share it" I stroke his smiling face.

"Aww shucks. Your making me blush" he leans his head into my touch. There are 2 sharp knocks on the door. "Greg" the say in unison. "Well your carriage awaits my Queen"

The event was a fundraiser. One which Jack was preforming at. I was excited about this as I hadn't ever seen him on stage. I hadn't really thought about what sort of work things he would need to do. Which is stupid because it would be pretty much the same as my schedule. I also did not think about who would be here. I started to feel very self conscious that we where practically announcing our relationship to our peers. I wasn't even sure who these peers maybe. They could be Austin's friends or even Austin himself. Dre hadn't mentioned it to me but knowing Austin, he would have found out I was attending with Jack and demanded to come.

Just on cue I hear my name being called. The thick London accent giving its owner away immediately. Jacks arm pulled me closer to him as we turned to face Dre. He was followed by an intense looking Austin, no fiancé to be seen. Again. Dre pulls my arm out to look at my dress.

"Absolute perfection! Gucci?" He smiles wide as he takes me in

"Yeah we got it today" I sway the dress so it sparkles in the dim light.

"Oh we saw. All over social media. The hottest new couple!" He winks

"Nice to meet you Dre" Jack holds his hand out for Dre to shake.

"Nah man, we huggers!" Dre pulls him in for a hug as I move out the firing line.

"Rhi... you look breathtaking" Austin whispers into my ear as he try's to rest his hand on my hip. I spun round pushing his hands discreetly away

"Jack has already told me. Please leave us alone Austin. This needs to stop" I turn back to Dre with a smile and insist that Jack introduces me to some of his friends. I would rather be nervous about that than deal with Austin.

He leaves me alone most of the night. Although his eyes are trained on me constantly. The anger flaring whenever Jack touches me or shows any affection. He slowly gets closer and by the time Jack is pulled away from me to preform , Austin appears at my side.

"Did you really mean that we are done?"

"Austin, I'm not having this conversation here. Or again. I don't know how else to explain it.
Im with Jack now and I need you to let me move on"  I keep my eyes on the stage waiting for Jack

"I can't "

"Cant or won't? Because they are two very different things" I snap

"Both" he says simply before he walks away. The ache in my heart nearly brings me to tears but the lights go down and Jack struts into the stage causing the butterflies to erupt in my stomach. A stupidly happy smile spreads across my face as he scans the crowd for me, winking when he catches my eye. I'm practically swooning

—————

I had started to drink heavily after that night. My tour was over and I was on a break. The more I was alone the more I thought about Austin playing house with Ash. That made me want to go out and try to block it out of my mind. I mixed drink with drugs trying to find a perfect balance. It never happened. Everything made me think of him. And then that just circled round to more drink and drugs trying to numb the pain. My apartment was a revolving door of people. Always a party or an after party. I started to loose weight again. Not eating and the concoction of narcotics feeding me.

I had fell asleep in my couch cuddled upto some people I had met at the club. Waking to people shouting and being pushed around. I rubbed my eyes to see Austin extremely angry. I hadn't seen him since that night and he didn't look very happy to see me right now. He was closing down the party, throwing everyone out. He had started to throw away the drugs left around that people had just left in their hurry to get away from him.

"What are you doing Posty?" I sleepily smiled up at him

"Sorting your life out"

"My life's fine, it's great in-fact" I lay back down and cuddle back up

"Nope." He pulls me up "your higher than I've ever seen you. And your clothes are hanging off you. Bath now" he inspects me before pointing me toward my room. I go to refuse but he just looks at me pointedly. I just trundle off to do as I'm told. When I come out he has remade my bed and set out some pjs for me. They do feel a little bigger than the last time I wore them. Austin has cleaned my whole apartment. There is no drug paraphernalia or alcohol laying around like there had been. He had ordered pizza which was waiting for me on the coffee table with a bottle of water. He looks up at me from the couch and smiles

"Much better. Your eyes aren't glazed over anymore"

"I was fine Austin you don't need to worry about me" I sit in the couch next to him tucking my feet under me as I start to devour the pizza, not realising how hungry I actually was.

"You are not fine and I do worry. See your starving. The party life will suck you dry if you don't be careful baby" he sits back and just watches me

"I am careful" I say between mouthfuls

"Did you know any of those people? " I look at him blankly "no, they could have been anyone and now they know where you live. We are going house hunting tomorrow. I don't want you here alone, anything could happen"

"Sorry " I mumble realising how right he was, I'd opened my home upto strangers. And I had no security. I lived in a small apartment block but it would be easy to break in. Not like Austin's house with security and a gate. I just hadn't thought it necessary to upgrade whilst I was touring, but I had made myself vulnerable.

He stayed the night but slept on the couch