Only wanna be with you

31

He looked at me with a worried face and furrowed brows "No, not at all. How could that deter me from getting to know the most beautiful soul in the world? I hate that you even have to think about that being an issue" he wraps his arms around me pulling me onto his knee as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"Well for someone that really wants a family, it can be" I say in a quiet voice

"Bullshit. Yeah I've thought about having kids but there's so many different ways these days. Surrogacy, adoption, fostering. Your kids are your kids not because you gave birth to them or they have your dna, it's because you love them. Unconditionally. Plus how many kids go into the system these days, they deserve good parents too. You don't have to explain anything, just tell me when your ready" I watched him open mouthed, amazed at his reaction. The fact that he cared more about me having to question it rather than the reason I can't.

"Thank you, I'll tell you soon. It's just a heavy subject so maybe not a second date topic" I rest my head on his shoulder

"So is this what this is? A second date? When is it acceptable to propose marriage?" I chuckled as I kissed his shoulder

"At least the 6th date id say "

"Right so I just need to hold onto you till then. Can we have multiple dates in one day?" He tickles my sides

"That's just cheating"

"I call it eagerness"

"Ok eager beaver, let's have after sex cuddles in bed" I crawl off his lap dropping the towel and crawling between the sheets

"You don't have to ask me twice!" He drops his towel and jumps on me

——————-

2 months later

The song went to number 1 and it was everywhere. We had been asked to perform everywhere. Chat shows, tv shows and concerts. Our relationship stayed professional after that night. Probably thought I was too much hassle to pursue with my guard dog on patrol. Not that he knew we hadn't spoken since that day. He'd tried to call and text but I was too hurt to respond. I didn't know what to say. How to even start to express how disappointed I was. How distraught he has made me feel.

We where playing the iheartradio jingle ball and MGK was going to come out for "Bad things". It was the first time we would perform it on this scale so we where pumped. Dre was right the sexual chemistry was off the charts when we performed it together. Sly looks in each others directions. Touching as we past each other. Him standing tall behind me as I danced. He basically worshipped me in that stage. The crowd lapped it up. We came off stage practically buzzing. Him spinning me round as we all tried to decompress.

That's when I saw him. Stood off the the back watching me with sad eyes. I felt like he had just stabbed me through the chest. I excused myself to my dressing room wanting to change out of these revealing clothes and wash the stage sweat away. As I got out of the shower I heard a quiet knock on the door. I wrapped a robe around me and peeked out the door. Austin stood there nervously, shifting in his spot. It was uncharacteristic of him to be pensive about things, so he must not be here to fight. I held the door open to allow him in not uttering a word. I sat down on the makeup chair calmly, not wanting to allow him the opportunity to sit next to me on the couch. It seemed like an age where we just sat in silence. Uncomfortable silence. He finally cleared his throat and headed towards me. Moving slowly like was trying not to scare me off. He crouched down making sure he was in my eyeline, kneeling one knee on the ground.

"Rhiannon, I can't tell you how much I've missed you. You couldn't begin to know how sorry I am for divulging your personal shit without your permission. It is wasn't said in any malicious way I promise. I just didn't think and I know that's stupid of me. And I regret it so so so much. I hate that it has ruined us"

"Do you regret it? Or is it because I found out? The way she told me made it sound malicious and nasty. I haven't even had a conversation with you about it all so why would you think it's ok to discuss it with anyone especially her!" I could feel the bottled emotions bubbling up ready to explode.

"I know. It was a stupid thing to do and I didn't want to push you into talking about it"

"Talk? When do we ever talk Austin? We talk dirty and argue but I doubt that counts. We where clear about this 'agreement' you said no feelings and you've kept that end of the deal. Well and truly. Just didn't think you would hurt mine in the process "

"Rhi, your one of my best friends. Please I really need you. I've been miserable thinking I've fucked everything up between us" he was holding onto my knees, pleading.

"I wouldn't want to be your enemy then if this is how you treat your best friend" I scoff

"I can't live without you in my life, I need you. I've been lost. It's made me sick thinking you hate me. Please can we try and move past this?"