Wish You Were Here

Chapter 13: Wish You Were Here

-Y/N's POV-

-Midnight-

I woke up to the sounds of owls hooting outside my window.

I opened my eyes and immediately hissed at the pain on one of my hands. I looked down to see that my knuckles has now dried up. I tried to move it only to hiss again at the pain.

"I really should treat this hand of mine" I said quietly and got up from my bed.

I made my way to the bathroom and locked the door.

I stripped out of my clothes and got into the shower. I turned on the shower and tried my best to wash away all the tiredness from my body.

The water started to become warm, I lathered my body with soap and then rinsed my body.

After taking a quick shower I grabbed a towel just outside the curtain and dried myself up.

I then made my way to my closet to look for something comfortable to wear. I finally found some comfortable pj's and I put them on.

I made my way back to my bed and pulled the covers over my figure to keep me warm in the cold midnight air.

The feeling of being in a blanket that keeps you warm is the best feeling...

I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, luckily I was able to get a few minutes of sleep, but after hours into my peaceful sleep I started to stir in my sleep.

It was now morning and I woke up to the sun hitting my face.

There it was again. I forgot to close my window blinds once again.

I covered my face to block out the sunlight but it was no use.

I flung the blanket away from me and looked up at my bedroom ceiling.

I sat up from my bed and closed my eyes, trying to let sleep overcome me, but it was no use, thanks to the sun I was wide awake already.

I fixed my bed before going into the bathroom to wash the sleep off of my face. I dried my face and then I exited my bathroom then out in the living room.

Strange...

I couldn't breath in the fresh scent of my favorite foods anymore.

Slowly I made my way to the living room only to see Alan sitting in the couch with his arms crossed.

I looked at him a bit confused.

"Good morning Alan" I said a little cheery light up the mood.

He didn't say anything just staring out into the wall, I walked towards him and sat down beside him.

"Is something wrong?" I asked softly as my hand made its way to his arm.

What surprised me is that he just pulled his arm away from my grasp. I started to be nervous, he isn't usually like this.

I started to feel tears would come out of my eyes, but I hide it.

"Alan? Please talk to me..." I said once again.

He then stood up abruptly and said the things that would shatter my world even more.

"I shouldn't have done it! I shouldn't have! I shouldn't have said that I loved you!"

I stared at him wide eyed trying to understand what he's saying.

"W-what are you talking about?" At this rate, my tears are about to be visible.

He huffed and looked at me with an expression that I wish I wouldn't have to see from him.

"This is wrong. I shouldn't have come here in the first place..." he said, and then he made his way to the front door, ready to leave.

I shot up from the couch and held onto him for dear life.

What does he mean he shouldn't have said that he loved me? I thought we were doing alright...

"Please Alan... don't- don't go-" I tried to say but he just pulled away from me as he continued to make his way to the front door.

"Goodbye, Y/N" and with that he left. Just like that...

I fell down to my knees and cried.

At this rate, I could feel tears staining my cheeks as I tried to open my eyes from the dream that has been happening right now.

I stirred in my sleep for over a minute and then I woke up with a gasp and with sweat and tears all over my face.

My breathing quickens as I looked around looking for something to cling on...

Something that would help me calm down...

I took a pillow beside me and cling onto it for dear life as tears continued to flow down my cheeks.

The pain in my knuckles started to become more painful as I held the pillow close to me, but I didn't care.

After a few hours my breathing starts to go back to normal.

I took shaky breaths and looked out of my window to see that the moon is now up in the sky completely. A full moon to be exact.

I stayed in my bed as I stared at the moon and recalled what happened in my dream just a few hours ago.

He said that he didn't love me... and he regretted coming here in the first place...

My thoughts told me as I continued to stare at the big moon in the sky.

Is it true that he didn't love me? Is it true that he regretted ever coming here? My thoughts asked these many questions that I hope I had the answer.

But then I remembered the letter from Alan...

I looked for it in my nightstand drawer and pulled out the slightly crumpled note from Alan.

I read the sentence that he wrote:

When you confessed that you truly loved me last night, it hurt me even more that I would not be able to stay with you forever. Please don't be upset about my absence. Instead, remember all the time we spent together and continue looking ahead. Perhaps, regretfully, this is farewell. There is, however one last thing I want to leave you with:

I love you, (Y/N) (Y/LN): truly, madly, deeply.

He said that he loved me too, he said that it would pain him to leave me all alone after what I've said, after I have confessed my love to him, and he said that I shouldn't be upset about his absence.

I then hugged the letter close to my chest and cried fresh tears.

It was another bad dream.

A bad dream that I would perhaps believe in because I will think that that would be the reason why he left.

But I was wrong...

He left because he said that I already took care of myself, that I was able to be my old self again, to be the person I was before; cheery, happy and goofy.

I placed the letter back into the drawer and closed it slowly.

I lay down in my bed and tried to go back to sleep. But I couldn't...

I couldn't go back to sleep after that bad dream.

I tried to do what Alan has taught me whenever I woke up from a bad dream, but again, it was no use.

Eventually, after some time, I was able to sleep again, despite the pain that was still in my heart I was able to go back into a peaceful sleep.

Tears continued to flow down my cheeks as I took shaky breaths.

"I wish you were here, Alan. I wish you were here to calm me down after a bad dream..."

I whispered to myself before letting sleep consume me.