Wish You Were Here

Chapter 12: Please... Come Back...

(*Warning* mention of blood)

-Y/N's POV-

The moment I finished reading the letter, my body seems to weaken because I felt that I was falling down.

I got on my knees as I was holding Alan's letter close to my heart and I feel like the old days have started to make its way back to me.

It was true what he said that I was able to take care of myself, to love myself and to be that little kid I was before.

But what about now? Now that the person who made me feel that way again was now completely gone? Gone from my life forever...

I was starting to heal after my parent's passing, thanks to Alan i was starting to feel myself again even after the pain of seeing them in that hospital bed. And after seeing them be buried 6ft into the ground.

But now, he's left me. Without thinking what would I feel.

He did mention about when I confessed to him last night, he was hurt seeing that after I confessed my love for him he has to leave me. Because he saw that I was already okay...

And I was thinking that he felt that I didn't need him anymore because of my current state when I'm around him.

He must've thought about that whenever I'm around him, smiling and laughing.

But he was wrong. I needed someone to be with me, to care for me, to love me...

The only person who gave the same love as my parents was Alan, and that's why I fell for him.

He is the kind of person who will be there for you during your darkest times and will try his best to comfort you.

But now that he is gone, I feel like my body starts to ache as tears kept steaming down my face.

I held the letter close to me as I kept calling out his name for him to come back.

"Please... Alan... please... come back... please..."

I kept on whispering those for a couple of times until I felt my body feeling much more weaker as I laid down on the floor.

-Sometime Later-

I woke up feeling that the ground was on my face.

I opened my eyes and saw that I was still laying on the ground with the letter clutched onto my hands, never wanting to let go.

I wiped the dried tears that were still on my cheeks and stood up from where I was.

I looked around seeing that the sun was now completely up and the birds are chirping happily around the neighborhood.

"What's there to be happy when you're left all alone?" I said to myself, feeling sad and angry.

I folded Alan's letter and placed it on the inside of my nightstand.

I made my way to the bathroom and locked the door.

I'm now here at the sink and I stared at my reflection in the mirror seeing that my eyes were becoming red from crying so long.

I opened the tap and washed my face. As I finished washing my face, I closed the tap and looked at myself once again, and what I see is that there's a girl crying for so long because the person she loved the most was now gone.

At that thought I got so mad to the point I punched the wall beside the faucet sink.

I punched and punched the wall until I could feel my knuckle bones cracking and drops of blood started to become visible.

I cried again, this time angry tears flowed out of me.

I slid down the bathroom wall as my knuckles shakes due to the fact that some of its bones were almost broken completely.

Tears kept coming and coming as I couldn't stop thinking about Alan's letter and what were the contents in it.

As I thought back to his letter, millions of thoughts came to my mind as I stayed seated on the bathroom floor.

Did he know what I was going to feel once he left?

Does he know how much this is going to affect me?

Does he not love me?

The last thought brought tears to my eyes once more.

They say if you've confessed your love to the person you love the most, if they felt the same they would stay with you forever.

But the opposite thing happened to me...

I have confessed my feelings to Alan yesterday and I was shocked to hear that he felt the same way too.

I was so happy that he felt the same way, I know it may be too soon to catch feelings for someone, but Alan was different.

But then the next day, which is today, I woke up to find a note saying that Alan has now left me all because he knows that I'm going to be fine without him and because I've been better.

But it still feels wrong...

Still sat on the bathroom floor, with my knuckle and hand shaking, with a little blood coming out of it, tears kept coming and won't stop.

I wiped off the new tears and stood up from the floor. I didn't bother to treat my bloody knuckle because I didn't care at this point.

I opened the bathroom door and made my way to my bed to lay down and even though I just woke up, I felt so tired like I've been doing work the whole day without rest, but in reality I just ate breakfast, read the note of Alan, cried for so long, took an unexpected nap on the bedroom floor and now I have a bloody knuckle which I don't care if I treat it or not.

As my body felt the mattress of my bed, I felt instant relief wash over me, I sighed, despite my physical and mental pain I still found a way to help myself; and that is to lay down on my bed.

I closed my eyes and started to feel that sleep is coming after me.

I felt asleep with one thought in my mind and fresh tears started to stain my cheeks.

Please Alan... come back...