Mágoa | SB19 Josh [SB19 Series #4]

24

Josh's POV

"Your first beta hCG levels were at 26,000 IU, Grace. After 48 hours, it's at 20,000 IU," Dr. Judith explained.

Grace and I were still at the hospital. After two days of being admitted at the hospital, we were bombarded with bad news early in the morning.

"What does that mean, doc? Will I lose this baby?" Grace asked, hurt etched in her voice.

I reached for her hand, trying my best to assure her. She was looking at her OB expectantly. I knew she still hoped for a miracle.

I was hoping for that too.

"I'm sorry, Grace, Josh," Doc Judith said.

"So I'll lose this baby?" Grace asked, again. Her question was firmer this time.

Doc Judith stared at her, as if weighing on how to answer her. Doc Judith was struggling between delivering facts and how to comfort her patient. She was torn.

"Just say it, doc," I encouraged, softly. I wanted to get this over and done with.

"Yes," Doc Judith answered.

Grace just nodded. Then she burst into tears.

***

The next few hours passed by in a blur. Grace was crying nonstop.

Gab, Mhai and Jillian stopped by to give us food. They almost didn't enter the room when they saw a sobbing Grace.

"Girl, parang ayoko na. Iiyak ako nito," Mhai commented, her eyes were already misting with tears.

"Bigay nalang natin ang food kay Josh. Then alis na tayo," Jillian suggested.

"Girls, come here," Grace said, her voice hoarse. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. I, on the other hand, just stood there, unsure if I should say anything. I was scared to say something. What if she would cry again?

"Grace," Gab began, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

Then Grace cried again.

I was going to lose it. I think I might cry with her.

The girls rushed around her and enveloped Grace in a tight hug. They didn't say anything. There was no, "it's okay," and "everything's going to be alright." As much as I want to comfort Grace, I knew that being with female companions was one of the best ways to comfort her.

I silently left the room, leaving the girls sobbing. Paulo was standing outside the door, leaning on the wall. He was all slouched and was staring blankly into space.

"Pau," I greeted him, softly.

Paulo stood up straight. "How are you?" he asked, his thick eyebrows all stitched together.

I shrugged, trying to compose myself. But deep inside, my emotions were warring against me. I wanted to cry too. I wanted to join the girls in their crying session and let everything out- my frustrations, my hurt, my disappointments.

"The OB says it's an anembryonic pregnancy," I told Paulo.

His eyebrows scrunched together. "An what?"

"Your wife's a doctor."

"I'm no doctor," he protested.

I sighed. "Anembryonic. As in no baby was formed."

Paulo was quiet. Like he was at a loss for words.

I sighed again. I wanted this baby. I wanted to be a father to this baby.