Chapter 41

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"We're together so I'm not scared of hoping for eternity."

After a year,

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After a year,

It has been a year since Alex left for his studies in Canada. No calls, no contact, nothing. He left me here without even saying goodbye. I know it has hurt him that day, but I have my own reasons to hide it. I didn't want to hide it from him. But circumstances made me do it. It's not like he will misunderstand us. He left a void in me that no one can fill it. It was a hell of a year for me. It's like he was here with me today and he vanished in the thin air the next day. I tried contacting him numerous times, but all I got was ignorance. I thought he might need a space so I left him on his own, but within a week he flew to Canada for his studies without bothering to reply to my calls or messages. 

Is that hiding something a big mistake? 

I hoped every day that he will call me and tell me that he forgave me, but everything ended in vain and all my hopes have been shattered. The only hope I have in my life is my middle name and nothing else. I hoped he will text me one day so that we can seek it out. I know he talked with Adam and they are back to normal, but why he is punishing me? Have I gone that unimportant to him? I hoped that he will come home during the semester holidays, but he didn't. All I heard from Adam and Isabella was he is taking an internship there so he won't be here for the holidays. I know he lied and I know that he didn't want to see me. 

Everyone knows something happened between us and gladly no one questioned it. Adrian tried talking it out with me, but I denied it. If he is going to be like this, let him be. Let him regret everything. I'm not going to speak with him or anything. I won't even acknowledge him when I meet him in the College.

I promised Alex that I won't drink or eat junk and will take a cheating day once a month. I have been continuing it till day. I have lost quite a weight in the past year. My health has been improving lately because my period pain has been reduced every month. I have finished high school and I have been selected in Canada Arts College for my passion. I thought I would get admission to California College, but I got high marks which led me to Canada Arts College. My family and my friends were so proud of me. 

Did Alex even care about me once all these days? Did he even miss me? Did he regret not talking to me? Did he even like me in the first place? I'm starting to doubt everything. Was everything a lie? What we had and shared all those days? Were those lies? Did he know that I got into a well-reputed college? 

I lied to myself that I hated him. But in the end, I have been starting to miss him. I missed him so much. I hate to admit it because I cried for him. I hate to admit that I still love him. The pain I'm going through is worse than the period pain. He really hurt me this time and I'm not going to forgive him. I have replayed all the moments we had in the past to fill in his place of him because I fucking missed him so much. All those memories came down rushing like a flood, but I shrugged it off. 

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