After both Ashton and I are done shopping, we take a quick dive into the pool by the hotel. Time flies and after what feels like 5 minutes, he has to go again. And because I promised him that I'd come to the concert I now have to prepare myself when he's gone. The physical part isn't hard, but the mental preparation is the worst. I know I love to see the band play live, but I'm scared that Calum will see me. I don't know if Ashton has told him I will be in the crowd, and I honestly do not know what I'm going to do when he sees me. Will he be mad? Will he be sad? I'm obviously still very mad and hurt. I'm still mad at him for sleeping with someone else, but that's not the thing that bothers me the most. It's the weird things he has done last night. How did he manage to sneak out to my hotel without any of his band members or security noticing? And then there was picking up Ashton's phone, acting like nothing happened. Ashton has given me two concert tickets, for me and Eva. And as I expected, they are on one of the front rows, so there's very little chance that Calum won't see me. And like I said, I don't know if Ashton told the others that I would be in the crowd. That makes it extra weird.
And now I'm standing in front of the mirror, looking at myself. There isn't anything wrong with my appearance, thanks to the dress Ashton bought me earlier. It's very beautiful and accents the right curves and the details look so good I'm convinced I never want to take it off. My makeup is fine too. It's my shaking legs that are bothering me. They have been shaking ever since I got to prepare myself. I can't seem to make it stop and don't know what to do with myself.
The time for overthinking is over. Eva turns up on my bedroom doorway and says, "Let's go." I follow my sister to the car we rented, and after the twenty minute drive we find a parking spot near the concert hall. Just when we are about to walk in I get a text from Ashton. Are you there yet?
I text him back saying that we are, and we go to find our seats. It turns out that we are just in time. Just when we sit down the lights go out and the spotlight turns to Ashton. Everyone starts cheering and clapping and I happily join the crowd. My nerves fade away for a bit. Being in the crowd of a concert always makes me feel amazing. I stand up and twirl in my dress, and Ashton smiles and waves at me. I wave back at him and smile.
Then the other spotlights go on and Michael, Luke and finally Calum come running on stage, guitars in their hands. They jump into the big lights and when I see Calum my heart immediately starts beating faster. I drop my gaze to avoid him, but in such a way that I can still see the band. Calum looks around as if he's searching for someone, but he's looking in a whole other direction than where I'm sitting. That makes me calm down a little, but my legs are still shaking. I can feel the adrenaline rushing through my body when they start playing She Looks So Perfect and grab my sister. As long as I focus on the other guys I'm fine, but sometimes Calum stands really close to the edge of the stage and then I'm ready to lose it.
Ashton, who's been looking at me a lot, notices that and smiles. It's like he wants me to know that it's okay. I look at my sister and she's freaking out like the rest of the crowd, but in some way I feel different than the other times I've been to a concert. Maybe it's because I actually have gotten to get to know them. Maybe it's because it's because I have been to a concert three times in such a short period of time. I don't know. I still don't know what to do with myself. I feel very awkward and tense and can't seem to relax.
But when the band starts playing Close As Strangers I know that it's no coincidence that they're playing that song. They never play this live. Calum has been planning this. He knows I'm here.
He knows because he changes the lyrics. And it's no random change, because he's singing my name.
