Eva looks at me and gasps. "This is not funny." I hiss at her and when Calum starts singing again I feel like everyone is staring at me. I know they probably aren't, because no one actually knows who I am. But to me it feels like all eyes are on me, and I feel that I'm getting short of breath. My heart is pounding in my chest, and my legs are ready to give way underneath me.
And when Calum sings my name again it gets too much for me.
If I don't get out of here now I know I'll faint, so I stand up and start walking towards the exit. I try to remain as invisible as possible, but the dress I'm wearing suddenly feels too bright and too outstanding. I keep my head low, hoping that Calum doesn't notice I'm leaving. I hurry my way over to the exit, ignoring the weird looks the security is giving me. I soon find the main exit and lean against the wall, until I feel like I can breathe again.
My phone buzzes and I see that I have a text from Eva.
5SOS is taking a break now. I'm afraid Calum's looking for you because he was the first to run off.
Shit! I don't want Calum to look for me. I'm freaking out enough already, and when I realise I stand close to the back door I know I need to get away from here. I know that the artists that are playing always arrive and exit via this exact door. When I walk away I feel a hand on my shoulder. That makes me turn around and yell, 'Help!'
But I calm down when I see that it's Eva and Ashton. "Hey," Ashton says, "Don't worry. I saw you running away and when Calum was about to go after you I told him that he needed to stay away. I think he got the message."
Eva nods. "We'll make sure he won't get near you if you don't want him to."
"It's not like he's an assassin," I sigh, "He just... did some things that I didn't like. And I'm not afraid of him. It's okay, really." Ashton nods and gives me a hug before disappearing through the back door again. "They're starting again in five minutes. Are you coming or should we leave?"
I shake my head and say that I want to continue seeing the band play. And I really want to. For Ashton, for Michael, for Luke and for myself. I know I can handle this. I know I have to, and I need to show Calum that I'm not whining over him. I still am a little, but he doesn't need to know that. I have to get over it one day, and I can better do it now. I'm not getting this holiday ruined because of Calum.
Eva and I walk back into the concert hall again and I try to remain invisible. I feel fine for the most time of the concert, until the band starts playing Amnesia. That song has always made me feel emotional. And when Luke sings, "I'm not fine at all", Calum starts singing along with the chorus. But when I look at him I see that his hands are trembling and that tears are falling down. That makes me so emotional that I break down too. I keep looking at Calum. He keeps looking at me and I try to look away, but I can't. I see him trying to keep singing, but he mouths, "I'm trying" to me. I nod at him, letting him know that I know he is. He's trying so hard to be fine, but he isn't. I try to wipe the tears off my face, but they keep falling. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss him. And that's what I'm going to tell him.
