Thank U | ATEEZ FF

Ch-16: Drunk Memories 2.0

"I don't think I would've lived killing Seonghwa."

"What do you mean- you- you were planning to kill Seonghwa?" you asked. Seonghwa was right, maybe you should break up with him, but he said that he wouldn't right?

"I didn't want tooooooooo so I kept stretching it. Now I don't have to!" he said cutely.

Mingi was cute drunk. Despite the horrific revelation, your heart ached for him. Something didn't feel right. You were closer with Seonghwa but you were ready to give Mingi a second chance.

"Gotta love how lonely I feel right now. I was such a people pleaser and where did that get me? No where. Maybe if I shut my mouth it would've been better. I'm always thinking life will go the way I want it to but of course that's not what happens. Sometimes I really wonder if life hates me that bad, it wants me to suffer so bad." he said completely changing his tone. He wasn't in his cute tone anymore.

You gave him a gentle hug.

"Don't spout nonsense like that. Who am I to you then?"

"Hongjoong, you're- you're not a constant in my life. You've made it better than the shithole of act kill repeat. I don't have to act anymore, I don't have to kill anymore. I can finally love now. You know how long it took me to-"

"Mingi, you're drunk and not making any sense."

"I was mad at life that's what I was . Nothing made sense back then but now I can have my happily every after, with- with you. Hongjoong you won't leave me right?"

Why was he being so sappy all of a sudden. Why was this happening? Did something happen to him?

"Mingi, is something wrong?"

"There's a solid chance that they're gonna wipe my memories soon. If I end up forgetting you, will you get me back? Will you take me to where I belong?" 

"Mingi, I'd give you the world" you said. You cupped his face as you adored his features. "Just tell me what you need-"

His soft lips met yours. This kiss was different. Mingi had always been the bold kisser. His tongue would travel confidently but this time it was different. It might've been the alcohol but when you saw his eyes you knew it wasn't the case. He had genuine fear of forgetting you.

"You know, even if it was like you broke up with me, I'd actually understand it. It would be like a mutual thing like we wouldn't-"

"Mingi!" you put your foreheads together. "Get a hold of yourself. How much have you been hiding from me?"

"A lot-"

"How much of it was acting?"

"None of my love for you was acting. Hongjoong please understand me. I-"

You moved away. You felt a little betrayed. Did you get close with the wrong bunch? You had people like Wooyoung and Yeosang but what about him? Did he have anyone who genuinely cared him?

"Please, please don't leave me-"

"I won't okay. Just tell me everything that you've been hiding and why Seonghwa"

"I told you I worked for the Government right? The Government banned these human toys but they'd obviously roam around in secret. San got lucky with Jongho letting them get away. I was.... let's say a little old-fashioned.... I stuck to the rules, maybe a little too often. We were supposed to kill every one of those human toys. You came to me with Seonghwa. What else was I supposed to do?" he gave a quiet sob at the end. 

His fingers ran through your collar as he looked into your eyes. He removed his glasses and refocused on you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything-"

"Mingi you haven't done anything yet. You didn't do anything-"

"That's YOUR PERSPECTIVE! Have- have you asked Seonghwa? Has he ever felt uncomfortable around me? I started researching on his blood and if he hasn't noticed that I've been taking more-"

"He did" you interrupted. "He told me about it. I thought it was nonsense and dismissed it saying it was important. He wanted me to break up with you."

Mingi pat your head and smiled. Tears had fallen but he still smiled.

"You've raised a good kid, a smart one at that. I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. You've given me everything I wanted in a relationship. Everything that I didn't get in the previous one-"

"Hongjoong, how are you entrusting me with your life when I've been-"

"Mangi, you're confusing me. You're telling me to stay with you but also to leave you-"

"BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OK? I'm just as confused as you are. Do you know how it feels when everything you've done suddenly feels wrong? When you feel like the rules don't matter anymore? What is really good and what is really bad?"

"M-"

He kissed you once more. This was full of love, full of passion.

"Am I born just to be toyed around by people? Will I die the painful, sentimental death of a villain?"

"Wouldn't that just make more in vain?"

"Hey, that's not what you're supposed to say"

"It's not my fault I don't like this setting"

"Anyways, now that I'm free from the clutches of the Government, I finally see that I've lived a pathetic life. No real friends, no skill, no talent, nothing useful that I'm good-"

"Don't say that. You're a good doctor-"

"But look at me crying it all out you. I can't even get my life together, falling into hands of officials and losing my friends and-"

"You weren't born a doctor Mingi, you were made-"

"See,  again this whole-"

"Oh my God I should really get better at consoling people"

"Just stay with me"

"I will" you said. Mingi got up and fell on your shoulder losing balance. "Let me take you home today"

"You have a licence?"

"We all have our little secrets Mangi"

You provided him support as you both walked out of the bar. Something in you told that it was wrong to enjoy this moment after realising that you had been wronged, no not you. This wasn't about you. Seonghwa had been wronged. He had been alarmed yet you were happy. Did you deserve this happiness?

 You would rant it out to Mingi but today he seemed unwell himself. Everyone needs someone they can lean on right?

"Thanks for dropping me"

"Oh it's nothing. You're having the emotional turmoil aren't you."

He hugged you. "I would ask you to stay but I think you'll have to clarify your thoughts with Seonghwa."

"See you soon" you waved at him as you left for your parenting responsibilities.

Once you reached home you saw Seonghwa watching a show cuddled in his blanket with his phone in his hand.

"Seonghwa, we need to talk"