Forbidden Desires {Ziall AU}

Chapter 13: it's nice to have a friend

chapter title from It's Nice To Have A Friend by Taylor Swift

Hello lovely people!

I've been feeling very inspired lately, so here's the next chapter. Thank you so much to @ZarnaPanchal for reading and voting on every chapter, you have no idea how much that means to me :)

I'm hoping to be able to do quite a bit of writing while I'm on holidays but I also have some other things happening so I won't make any promises I can't keep.

Well, I hope you enjoy :)

I hear the commotion before I know where I am. With a pounding head and heavy heart, I struggle to remember a lot. Or much of anything that happened when I presume was last night. I attempt to open my eyes, only to be greeted with pain shooting through my skull. Too bright, way too bright. I let out a groan, feeling like my body is weighed down, not physically but emotionally too. I open my eyes again, trying to make out the hazy figure shuffling around the room.
"Niall?" I croak, sounding like I haven't drank water in at least a month.
The figure turns around, "So that's who's got your boxers in a knot," he comments.
It takes me a moment to place the voice, but when I do, it makes me shoot upright. A searing pain roars through my head, and a gentle hand gets placed on my shoulder.
"Here," he says, handing me a glass of water and pills.
I accept them, downing the water in one go. How much did I drink last night? I've had hangovers before, but nothing like the one I have now. I've never felt this weighed down before, though I'm starting to get the feeling that's not all because of the hangover. I let my eyes adjust to the light, looking around the bright room. It's weird to be here when the shelves look so bare, one side brimming with personality and life while the other sits barren and abandoned. "What happened?" I whisper, propping myself up on the wall.
"Honestly?" Liam looks at me, but it feels like he can see right through me. He can see through all the things I've been hiding. "I've got no idea."
I furrow my eyebrows, "What do you mean?"
He shrugs, "When I found you, you were already sitting on the bathroom floor of the club, wasted out of your mind." He gets up to fill the glass again "you were a bit of a mess, to put it lightly."
I flush, looking down at my hands. "Oh," is all I manage to say. I don't remember it, not at all. It should be awkward, sitting here with him, considering we haven't spoken at all in god knows how long. But somehow it seems natural, like we click back into place no matter how much time we've been apart.
The bed sinks next to me, but I keep my gaze trained on my hands. He takes a deep breath as if preparing himself. "Are you ok?" he asks, bringing a hand to my shoulder. "Please don't give me the 'I'm fine' bullshit."
I rest my head back on the wall, blinking the tears away. And for the first time in my life, I answer the question in complete truth. "No," I say, but it sounds more like a whisper with my voice betraying me. I'm not okay, I'm really not ok.
I tell him everything. from sleeping with Niall to the conversation with my mum that left me on the bathroom floor. With every word I speak, it feels like a weight is being lifted off my chest. It's freeing to be able to voice the emotions that have been racing through my head over the last few months. Surprising that he listens adamantly to it all. He only adds little hums or 'ok's, when necessary. He doesn't judge me for anything, not one thing that I did. By the end of it, I'm not sure how long we've been sitting here, but I'm exhausted.
"Well, you've certainly got yourself in a right situation." He laughs, and it's refreshing to finally hear his banter again.
I smile, "Yeah," Even though he's gone and messed with my fucking head, I can't help the fond smile that creeps onto my face with him.
"He hasn't talked to you since the gym?" He asks, and it's not accusatory, but curious.
I shake my head, and the familiar itch to check my blank phone is creeping up on me once again. It feels like it's all I've done since that day. I don't want to be the one to reach out first.
"So, I'm not going to say the way you reacted was right, because it wasn't." he sighs, and I duck my head down again. I know that I need to hear this, no matter how much it may hurt me. "But I think you need to..."
I don't know what he says from there, and I'm sure I'm now staring at him with the fondest expression possible. I don't know why it feels so surreal, to be in our dorm again. But being with him makes me feel safe beyond measure. Just like Niall did. It's a slap in the face to realize that he is the only other person in this world that I'm safe with, other than Liam. He's the only person that can completely melt my worries and disperse my fears with one simple look in his sea-blue eyes. His arms are the only ones I feel safe in, safe enough to not think about one thing that doesn't involve anyone else. It hurts to realize that I care about him, more than I have ever cared about anyone in my life. It's us, or it was. Before I went and ruined everything, went and pushed him away like I do with everyone. He's the one person I've let in, and the one person I let slip through my fingers.
"Zayn?"
I'm brought back to reality by the sound of his voice, and a concerned look. It's not until he brings a hand up to my cheek to wipe away my tears that I realize I'm crying. He looks at me with a furrowed brow and saddened eyes, he's never seen me like this. He's never seen me showing how much I'm hurt. And that's when the sobbing kicks in, the heart-aching sobs escaping from my very core like there's no tomorrow. He pulls me against himself, and I get a flash of the same thing happening last night, except on a cold bathroom floor.
"It hurts, Li," I tremble, I'm becoming the right crier now. I haven't cried for so long and now it feels like it's all I do. "It h-hurts so bad. Pl-please, make i-it stop." It feels like someone stabbed me in the heart, my blood spilling all over the floor like a volcano. One that's finally exploded.
"I wish I could take your pain away." He whispers, rubbing soothing circles on my back.
I'm not sure how long we stay there, but my sobs get reduced to small hiccups. Liam's shirt must be drenched by now, but he doesn't care. He keeps his hold around me regardless, giving me the silent support, I've desperately craved all my life.
And for the first time, it's like the chains around me are starting to cut, setting me free.
It's nice to have a friend.

Word Count: 1166