Forbidden Desires {Ziall AU}

Chapter 21: I was all alone with the love of my life

chapter title from Golden Hour by JVKE

"Look, I know you tried to talk to him, and it didn't go well," Liam rants, shrugging a collared shirt over his shoulders. "Maybe you need to accept that you tried, but you couldn't get through to him."

I tuck myself further into the covers, making my feeble attempt at hiding from the rest of the world for a moment. "I don't wanna think about that," I mumble. If there's something the last few weeks have taught me, sometimes you need to give up for a little to survive. You need to hide in that small corner of your brain where nothing matters and all your problems don't exist. I can't think about Niall, I've already done way too much crying for the past few weeks. I don't even want to consider unpacking the shit with my father. But I need to help Tori.

There I go again, spiraling into another pit of overthinking.

I hear Liam sigh, "I'm going out, but I'll keep my phone on, if you need anything I'll come straight back, alright?" I open my eyes, peeking out from the covers. Liam is crouching next to me, brows furrowed.

I nod, burrowing my face back into the clouds. Liam pets my head with a small smile, and I send a glare back to him. I hear the click of the doorknob, followed by a small, "oh." When I peek my head out of the sheets, the last person I would expect to be standing at the door is in front of it. has his hand raised as though he was about to knock. They're both statues on either side of the doorframe until Niall seems to crack open.

He catches a glimpse of me, and by the way he deflates, I must look like utter shit. "Oh, I'm sorry," he murmurs like he's overstepped some unspoken boundary, "I'll just go..."

An alarm bell rings in the back of my mind at the thought of him walking away. So naturally, I lose control of my mouth when I shout, "Wait!" I'm going to mentally slap the shit out of myself later, stupid fucking feelings.

He turns back, sporting a special glint in his eye. He looks like a kid in a candy store for the first time, hell, he would look like that if I took him to a candy store. I want to be the one taking him to the places he's always wanted to go. I want to find a place that's ours, a place where no one can find us, where we don't have to listen to what anyone thinks. We can be us.

I like the sound of us.

But we don't exist.

Yet.

I'm broken out of my perfect fantasy before I have a chance to get too ahead of myself... who am I kidding, marry me? "Oh, it's alright, you can come in," Liam smiles, "I was leaving anyway." He glances at me with an expression that could cut through me if he tried hard enough.

When Liam walks past Niall, I overhear him whispering something in his ear which sounds like, "Don't fuck it up." By the look on Niall's face, I'm about right.

He hovers around the door like it's the first time he's been in here. It's like he's afraid he'll break something. Although, that may be more literal than I thought. I slide the sheets off myself, sitting on the side of the mattress. I'm suddenly aware that I'm in no state to be talking to someone. My light grey trackies haven't been washed in longer than I would like to admit. And my comfiest sweater sits on my shoulders. I try to fold in on myself as much as possible, thinking it would make the silence feel all the less suffocating. He seems very intent on studying his shoes, the ones he wears every day without fail. No matter how long I'm looking at him, he doesn't look back.

If I don't say something, I don't think he's going to. But what do I say? Is he mad at me? That's it. He's mad because I talked to him when he didn't want me to. He's here to tell me to leave him alone, of course. That doesn't help me to figure out what to say. "Are...uh, are you mad at me?" I ask, wow Zayn, real genius right there.