Blood Royals Bonus Book: Prince Adryan & the Throne

Chapter 33: Emotional Entanglement

Selina's POV
I have never been to an army funeral before. I have been to a naval funeral though. I remember the pristine white uniforms down to their white shoes. My father was a naval officer in his younger days. For every friend he lost, we attended a funeral. I guess it's the same thing, only that the soldiers are not in white but in black. Even Adryan is in uniform; a black one with a gold aiguillette on his right shoulder. He is the only one wearing it. My father was fond of pointing out distinction among soldiers. If he was here he would remind me that Adryan is a General.

He looks handsome even in grief. He wears grief well; with composure I'll never have.  Today he looks regal. He looks like a man who knows what will happen next and he has full control.

"How is he?" I asked Keli in a whisper to avoid distracting everyone from the funeral. Keli is seated in between us. He feels like a barrier to Adryan. My ex had the option to sit next to me but he chose to sit next to Keli as though to harshly remind me of what I promised would happen after three days.

"When have I ever been able to read his reaction on things?" He whispered back. "I thought that is something you should know."

I straightened my form with a scowl on my face. I don't know because he has shut me out. The day of the attack, we didn't speak. The Queen would not leave his side. But even when she did, he avoided me and said he doesn't want to talk. Four days have gone by and he doesn't feel the need to even ask me if I'm okay.

I'm traumatized too!

The infirmary left my hands shaking. I did not expect to see what I saw. People died in front of me. Legs were amputated and I had to hold down screaming men biting down on wooden spoons. It was ugly. Even after I washed the blood off my hands, I was still shaking. I never want to see something like that again.

Perhaps I'm being selfish. He is probably more traumatized than I am. But he looks fine! He looks like his old handsome self. Maybe he's just good at holding it together. I should hold it together too. After all, we all have to be tough.

The Queen is oddly missing from action. She is constantly looking up in the sky wondering where the next attack will come from. I am also worried and I feel unsafe.

We all stood up when Adryan made his way to the front. He will say the final words before the 276 are laid to rest. He took a moment to look at everyone except me.

Am I being petty?

"The first time I met General Taof, I was a little boy about thigh high. He came down to my height and he told me "You will make a fine soldier son. Look for me when you enlist". I looked for him when I enlisted but he was on a vacation. I didn't see him for many years after that until he came to the Chrystal Isles to look for me. He believed I would serve a purpose in changing the history of this kingdom. Each and everyone of you has a reason they are still here. We were hit. We have lost those we served with, our brothers in arms but we all have one common purpose and that is to serve this kingdom. Not any better be man but this kingdom. If a man is failing the kingdom then that man must be removed. This is what Taof believed and I will make sure that his death or the death of the 275 others will not be in vain."

He stepped away from the front but my expectations ceased when he didn't return to his seat.

I don't know what to do.

Should I follow her and ask him?

I will go mad if we do not speak.

"Adryan wait!" Two soldiers blocked me. He's only a few steps away looking right at me. I tried to push my way but they are determined to do as they are told. "Why won't you talk to me?"