Wonderland

21. Half

Why is that sad look on your face,

Why are you crying?

Tell me now, tell me now, tell me why're you feeling this way?

I hate to see you so down oh baby,

Is it your heart? Oh its breaking all in pieces

Making you cry,

Making you feel blue

There's so many things that I can do..

"Stacey please shut it." Carol said as we walked down the hallway.

"What? It wasn't me" Stacey said. Their eyes turned to me.

"It wasn't me, honestly." I crossed my heart.

"Well who was it?" Carol grunted.

"What is wrong with you? You seem pretty stuffed up these past few days." Stacey turned to me ignoring Carol's attempt to conceive us with her unidentified wrath.

Good thing she disappeared leaving us two alone in the student lounge.

"Carl's in the States." I muttered.

"So?" Stacey commented, "Even Ric, Clin, Leo, Bryan and Rj are too."

I sighed, "You know I miss them."

She clicked her tounge, "And you know I do too."

It has been three weeks since Ric, Clin, Leo and Carl went to the States and I couldn't be any happier- note Sarcasm. Richard, Clin and Leo still got me informed on how things have changed, well they are independent now and they would cook for themselves, do laundry, clean their stables and do chores. While Bryan and Rj@ well..

"Clin and Leo is working in a fine restaurant they said." Stacey said as we continue to walk through our classes.

I nodded, "I hope it pays them well."

"Yeah I hope so too."

"How about Rj and Bryan? I never heard those two would gone to the States considering they can't live without a person cleaning their stables." Stacey asked me.

I shook my head, "Bryan said he and Rj separated, but they are the same city. So its not hard for them to meet."

Stacey turned to me wide eyes, "You don't mean they are-"

My eyes widen, "No Stacey! That's be gross. They are bestfriend for Chist sakes."

She laughed, "You are so gullible."

The days dragged on so fast that finals are fast approaching. I thanked God that we finished out thesis before it was the end of the week- and we were the last ones to present our papers.

It felt good.

I don't have any problems and I think I can live with the thought of Carl in the States and also my group of friends. Believe me, I was surprised that Clin and Ric were at it because they seem to be having fun being here.

Ric knew me for who I am. He knew I was hiding, he knew I transferred because of the heat in the States. For months I didn't talk to mum, she has other projects to go to and I'm too stuffed up to care. I wonder how is she.

But then, she never ever once called me.

"Spacing out isn't good for your health you know." I stare at Cole as he makes his way towards me.

Seems like this rooftop is our hang out place. I told Stacey that I have something to do and besides she left with her group to the mall.

"What are you doing here?" he asks as he sat down with me.

I shrugged, "Spacing out."

He chuckles, "Its been weeks."

I nodded, "It has."

What hurts was that it has been weeks but never, Carl never did ask me how I've been- he's like my mother- but I never felt anything like been thrown in a bin.

Because you expected.

Yes, because I expected.

"But I never seen you around campus." Cole said.

"My classes starts at one pm and ends in six thrity." I answered.

He shook his head, "That is not what I meant."

I shrugged, "I don't have to come to those stupid events."

"You know, I never said this to you but.." he stopped, looking at the ground.

"But what?"

He looked at the skies, "I punched Carl for your own good."

My eyes widen at surprise.

"That.. wasn't..very nice." I muttered.

"I did know you beforehand. I always see you around campus with your friend, and one of my classmates know you." he trailed on.

"I'm a civil engineering student." he added.

I stayed silent looking at my feet.

"You know Michael? He knew you, he says you two are friends because you used to party. And I never knew if you remember me correctly, but last December you called Michael over to give your gift to him and I was there with him."

I know I knew Cole, but I never remember this.

"Yeah Michael is a happy drunk." I nodded, then silence took over us until I broke it.

"How'd you know Carl?" I asked, completely turning over the story.

Cole turned to me the shifted his gaze over to the scenery in front of us, "Carl is my half-sibling."

My breath slowly coming over to a stop as I became aware that I'm having trouble saying what I want to say.
He might have sensed my bewilderment that he made me have the time to let it all sink in.

Carlisle didn't mention anything at all upon his brother. What was I supposed to say?

Oh sorry. I- Carlisle never mention you before.

And what was I supposed to act?

"It's okay. I mean, I know its hard to believe." he chuckled, "I kinda expected that look on you though, I mean-"

"No. I- I just, I mean he didn't told me he has another brother." I explained.

"Oh." was all he could say. He was hurt.

"Sorry I-I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." I said to him, completely ashamed.

He shook his head, his blue eyes smiling warily.

"I understand." he says softly. "We talked about not telling our friends we're half siblings considering that my mom was the other woman in their family."

My heart swelled in water when I realized Cole was a product of a mistake. I smiled softly and intend to hold him, but I refused. Instead I hold his cold hands.

"Cole, it wasn't your fault. And you don't have to explain yourself to me. I understand." I said softly, "If it was me, I wouldn't either."

His eyes perked at what I said, I chuckled.

"I meant that in a right way Cole. I mean, he was indeed an A hole afterall."

That received a laugh from him, but there was a tiny little detail that he was hurt.

"Don't hate him Heather." he said sincerely, "I meant that in a right way."