Love Blinds

chapter 9

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was a day I will never forget. I went on my first date with Alex, and oh, what a whirlwind of emotions it has been! From the moment he picked up me at my doorstep,my heart raced with anticipation and a hint of nervousness. But as soon as we started talking, all my worries melted away.

The night was filled with laughter and shared stories. Alex has such a warm smile and a genuine sense of humour that instantly put me at ease. We strolled through the park hand in hand ,under the moonlight sky. It felt like a scene from a fairytale.

As we stood , enjoying the breeze, I couldn't help but feel a growing connection between us. Especially when he asked me the permission to kiss me, it took my breath away for a moment.

Then came the moment I had been both eagerly and anxiously , our first kiss. As his lips met mine, a rush of emotions washed over me. It was a sweet and gentle kiss, filled with tenderness and a spark of something more. It felt like a thousand butterflies took flight within me, fluttering with excitement and joy.

It was a kiss that spoke volumes, a silent promise of possibilities. I knew that this was the beginning of something extraordinary.

Being wrapped in Alex's arms was a sensation I never wanted to let go of. I felt safe and protected, like nothing in the world could harm me. The way he held me so delicately, as if I were the most precious thing he had ever encountered, filled my heart with an overwhelming sense of joy.

It was in his embrace that I found solace, a place where all my worries fadded away. His arms felt like home, a place where I could be myself without any fear or judgement.

In those stolen moments of intimacy, I discovered a vulnerability that I had never experienced before. There was a rawness to our connection, a genuine affection that made my heart swell with emotion.

I found myself falling deeper and deeper, loosing myself in the magic of the evening. It was a feeling I had never experienced before, and it overwhelmed me in the best possible way. I knew that I found someone special, someone who had the power to turn my world upside down.

As the night drew to a close,I couldn't help but reflect on the rollercoaster of emotions I had experienced. From the nervous anticipation of our first date to magical exchange of our first kiss,finally the sheer bliss of being wrapped in Alex's  arms, it was a day etched forever in my memory.

Now as I reflect upon this incredible first date, my heart is filled with hope and excitement for what future holds. The memory of our first kiss lingers on my lips, and the sensation of his arms around me etched in my mind.

I am grateful for the chance to have shared these intimate moments with Alex. I can't wait to embark on this journey with Alex, to discover what lies ahead, and to let love guide us every step of the way.

Until the next time,dear Diary.

Yours sincerely,

Kate

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During the date with Kate,I felt a whirlwind of emotions swirling within me. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I was captivated by her radiant smile and sparkling eyes. Her presence filled him with an inexplicable sense of warmth and comfort.

As they engaged in conversation,I  couldn't help but be drawn to her infectious laughter. I felt a growing sense of connection with Kate as the night progressed.

As our lips met,my heart fluttered with anticipation and desire. A rush of warmth spread through my  body. Time seemed to stand still as I savoured the sweetness of the moment.

Every touch of her lips conveyed a profound intimacy,leaving me breathless and intoxicated.

When Kate revealed that I  was her first kiss, a rush of emotions flooded through me, suprise, honor, and a touch of vulnerability washed over me all at once. I  appreciated her trust in confiding such a personal detail, and it made me realise how much special our connection truly was.

But I can't escape the complex of emotions that arise when I'm thinking that I'm a bully boy. I cause the pain in other's lives. Every time I see the kindness in her eyes I feel worse about myself, because I'm lying to her every day, every moment.

I know that love and compassion have the power to transform people into better . But I am not ready to believe in love and hurt myself, just like dad hurt my mom. Past heartbreaks had left me wary, and I feared being vulnerable again.

Love seemed like an illusion, a fleeting mirage that promised happiness but often resulted pain. Scarred by past heartbreaks, I had built impenetrable walls around my heart. I feared the pain would follow if i allowed myself to believe again.

I couldn't bring myself to trust it's existence, choosing instead to shield my heart from potential hurt, because I have seen my mom crying her soul out every time, holding my dad's photo. He betrayed her in the worst possible way that it gave thousand swords to my mom's heart.

She still manages to smile and hide the pain from, me. But every time I see her face, I see a broken heart behind that beautiful smile. Its  painful to think the person you love the most is suffering and you can't do anything about it.

So that's why, the thought of opening up,only to have my heart shattered once more, terrified me. I couldn't bear the idea of going through that agony again.

So, I shielded myself, keeping love at a distance, unwilling to risk further damage. The wounds of the past still haunted me, leaving me hesitant and unwilling to take that risk that can destroy my heart into pieces.