Love Blinds

chapter 18

I sat in my cozy bedroom, a dimly lit santuary filles with a collection of her most treasured possessions. As I opened the pages of my diary, I couldn't  help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness tingling through my veins.

  I carefully gripped my pen, ready to document a moment that had left an indelible mark on my heart, the first time Alex had uttered those magical three magical words,"I love you".

Dear Diary,

These days, I'm feeling so happy. Especially when Alex told me that he loves me. My heart flutterd as I recalled that moment.

In that instant, time see to stand still for me. Waves of joy and disbelief crashed over me, intertwining with a newfound sense of vulnerability.

I felt my heart swell with an intoxicating blend of emotions, as if a thousand fireworks had ignited within me. It was as if my soul had been heard, recognised, and cherished by another.

The weight of those three words settled upon me, and I found myself grappling with the magnitude of our meaning.

I realised that love, in its purest form, demanded courage and an openness to vulnerability. I recognised that trust Alex had placed in me, and i vowed to reciprocate it wholeheartedly.

I couldn't help bit revel in the warmth that He's love enveloped her in. I felt a sense of security, knowing that I found a partner who cherished her for exactly who I was. The wall I had built around my heart began to crumble, replaced by a newfound belief in the power of vulnerability and connection.

Our relationship blossomed, with every kiss and hug. When I had the first makeout with Alex, it felt so amazing. I feel cherished and loved. I felt other emotions than fear,panic and anxiety.

He kissed me deeper, pinning me to the mattress, like I was some precious jewel. When he kissed my cleavage, my breath hitched with pleasure. I was so astonished to see him worshipping my body like I was his queen.

For the first time in my life I felt something, different. I feel the whole world when I'm with him. But I'm scarred of a one thing, how will he react once, he got to know my past, will he leave me just like my  father did?

What will happen then? I will be left alone once again. The bulling and criticism, I can handle it. But if my Alex leaves for whatever reason, my heart will break into pieces just like a glass, and it will be irreparable.

I will be leaving in the dark once again, until somebody can heal my heart. But no one can heal my heart but Alex. He is the boy I love beyond anything. I'm ready to forgive his mistakes in the past, but I won't be able to handle the pain if he cheats.

But I trust him, he won't do that, he loves me. I know he won't break my trust. Just like that quote says" trust is fragile, don't break it, once broken it will never come back in its original shape"

Until next time diary

Yours sincerely,

Kate.

...........

Love was a concept I couldn't accept. It seemed weak and vulnerable to me, traits I had learnt to despise. My interactions with others were marked by aggression, fueled by a deep seated fear of being hurt myself. Love,in my eyes was merely a facade that people put on to decieve themselves and others.

However, life has a way of bringing unexpected changes. I found myself confronted with a situation that forced me to question my beliefs. That happened when I started falling in love with Kate. It's unbelievable, a person like me is madly in love with her.

Her innocence is melting my cold heart, her beautiful smile brings a smile to my face, her melodious voice soothens my ears, her hugs give peace to my restless life, her kisses give me strength, her scent intoxicates me.

The more I witnessed her acts of kindness, the more I questioned my own actions. I grew tired of the anger and negativity that had consumed my life. Gradually, I started to distance myself from the toxic influences that had shaped me, seeking a different path.

It wasn't easy, because still my friends recognised me as the playboy, they don't know that I'm starting to change.

As a bully boy, I discovered the transformative power of love. I realised that it wasn't about putting on a facade or pretending to be someone he wasn't. Love meant embracing my authentic self and allowing others to see the vulnerable parts of him.

It meant opening my heart to the possibility of connection and embracing the beauty of human emotions.

I'm not staying with Kate just for a dare, I'm with her because she is the love of my life. I will hide this from my friends because I don't want them to ruin it for me. Let them think that I'm still continuing their stupid dare.

But my responsibility is protecting Kate, I'm so ashamed that I helped my friends to bully. I will be regretting that for my entire life. If Kate got to know about this, definitely she will go far away from me. And I can't handle that.

If she go away from me, my whole life will turn into black just like before. She was an angel to my life, that taught me what real love feels like.

I promise myself that I won't harm her or let anybody else harm her. I will cherish and protect her with my heartbeat. Now I have to visit her again, just to see her and kiss her.

I can't stand a minute away from her, so, I'm buying her favourite dairy milk chocolate. Just to make her happy I can buy the entire chocolate factory.

Now that she has became my world, my doing everything to fulfil her cravings and make her happy.