Love Blinds

chapter 19

I found myself back in the hallways
Of my high-school, a place that should have been a santuary but had become a nightmare of  its own. The once familiar of faces of my  classmates now twisted into malicious grins and piercing eyes filles with scorn.

As I walked through the halls, I felt the weight of the judemental gazes following me every step. Whispers echoed in my ears, words dripping with venom and cruetly.

The walls seemed to close in, suffocating me with their hatred. I tried to brush off the comments, reminding myself that they were only figments of my imagination, but the pain they caused was all too real.

Oh here we have the nerd, said her blond girl.

Please let me go, I shouted.

Aww, the baby is asking us, to let her go, what a pathetic bitch, said another girl.

What do you want from me, I asked crying. A girl suddenly come near me and slapped me.

You are a weak nerd, you are worthless and stupid, she said.

Please leave me alone, I said pleadingly.

They mocked me and made shameless comments until my soul couldn't take it anymore. And they walked away leaving me with my broken pieces.

I had always been kind hearted and compassionate, but that always made me an easy target for those seeking to exploit her vulnerability.

I replayed the moments when, my confidence had been shattered, the relentless torment eroding my self worth.

They mocked my apperance, my interests, and my dreams. They whispered lies behind my back, spreading rumors like wildfire. Their words became weapons,cutting deep into my soul.

Each day became a battle, as I fought to keep my head high facing every obstacle and battle that came. I tried to seek solace in my friends, but even they seemed distant, hesitant to offer their support in fear of  becoming targets themselves. Loneliness gnawed at me, its grip tightening with every passing day.

All the people in the school and the society suffocated me, they laughed at me and critized me calling me names.

I started loosing all my self confidence, I started hating and doubting myself if I am even capable of being someone. All I get is hate from people. My mom is the only person who loves me, protects me, nutures me.

I want to run away, far away from these people, I want to cry in the arms of the person ,I love the most. I want to hide from these people so that I can live peacefully.

So I started running faster along the roads, I was panting for breath, my face full of tears but I just running until I was breathless. But still i didn't stop running either, my soul was  weeping because I couldn't take it anymore. The feelings that I have bottled up started overwhelming.

But then I felt somebody shaking me.

Kate, sweetheart I'm here, it's alright, a soothing voice told.

Love of my life, it's okay breath with me, the voice said, and I did exactly the same. I tried following the voice, and at last I opened my eyes to see Alex looking at me with a worried expression.

Here, have a glass of water sweetheart, he said.

I drank the water hurriedly.

Are you okay sweetheart, he asked me kissing my forehead.

I had a nightmare,  I said without looking at him.

Do you wanna talk about it my love, he asked hugging me.

It's something about my past school, I don't know if you are interested in listening to my past, I said sadly.

Sweetheart, I am ready to listen to anything you say whether it might be rubbish other people, but to me it is the most important news, in the whole world.

Really Alex, I asked with shining eyes.

Yes, my love so please tell me what was kept bothering you.

FLASHBACK , It all started when I started high school. Since I lost my dad when I was six tears old, I became a silent child. I lost my real smile, I lost my attention on everything. I couldn't express any kind of emotions so my mom took me to a therapist. I did therapy sessions for almost 4 years , and it changed me a little bit but not much. But things started get when I started high school.

First week was OK, but then these three blonde girls started bulling me. They started mocking me by saying shameless comments about my looks. I tried to tell the principal but she didn't believe me. Instead the principal told me if I tell these nonsense to her she will cancel by scholarship.

My mom can't afford college fees alone, so I can't loose my scholarship. Then I suggested to endure the pain until I finish high-school and it wasn't easy to bear all the suffering. I cried a lot after coming home , asking God why I have to suffer like this. One terrible day, when I was using the restroom, they locked me inside it. And I was screaming for help but nobody came.

And that day I had my first panic attack. I was struggling to breath since few minutes, I was sweating and then blankness surrounded me. And when I woke up I found myself in the hospital surrounded by the doctors. My mom was crying holding me.

Doctors said that I will be having a lot more anxiety attacks in the future, if I stay frequently in this school, so to change that my mom transfered me to this school. But there also a group of boys bullied me, including you. Fortunately you changed buy I'm still scared if those boys will bully me again.

PRESENT, 

I'm so sorry sweetheart, I am so ashamed of myself for doing that for you, I promise I won't repeat that, I will protect you with my life, please believe,  he said sadly.

I trust you, Alex. But don't let my trust down. If you break my trust I won't be able to handle it, I said looking at his eyes.

I won't sweetheart,  I assure you, he said and hugged me.